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As is tradition, I shall now shower upon you the kind of eloquence you can only get here. And by eloquence, I mean incoherent babbling.

Do you ever get to the end of a year and think “dang, I’m exhausted and I feel like I ran a marathon, but I can’t remember a single thing I accomplished? Well, that’s 2019 for me. A whirlwind of good stuff mixed with a little dose of crap. I choose to completely ignore the crap, so here’s the good stuff!

In January, I embarked on the next phase of my prerequisites for the nursing program. I started Anatomy & Physiology. Yes, just one class. Keep in mind I still work full time! I knew it would be a challenge because I’ve always thought I couldn’t memorize stuff. A&P proved that theory totally wrong. I loved the course, the lab, everything about it. It’s weird being able to help my high schooler with her biology homework… I never would have guessed. I aced the course, which led to some overconfidence – more on that in a bit.

Mia turned three in January, and we had a vast number of people come over to celebrate. She is a billion percent emotion and spunk.

February liberals everywhere were devastated to learn that a hate crime didn’t occur against Jussie Smollet. To make them feel better, Breadline Bernie entered the 2020 presidential race. I personally spent most of February studying for A&P and arguing with anti-vaxxers on social media.

In March, I changed my phone number, because there are some people who simply don’t need to have a way to ever contact me again. This led to an endless march of updating shopper cards and loyalty accounts at every store I entered for the rest of the year. If you need my new number, you can try dialing every 816 area code number starting with 816-000-0000 until you reach me.

April brought our 7th anniversary, meaning that statistically our chances for divorce have dropped by about 30%. That statistic is totally not made up. And I’m sure it has nothing to do with couples having children and completely intertwined finances after seven years. 🙂

April also brought track meets. LOTS of track meets. Olivia did high jump and 4×100 relay. The kids were her biggest fans, but mostly they liked climbing the bleachers and trying to throw themselves off in spectacular fashion.

Turns out, Easter is also in April.

In May, I turned 41 and also finished A&P. Which is not impressive since it is a course intended for 19 year olds. Oh well, I’m a late bloomer.

Since the weather turned nice in May, there was a lot of outdoor shenanigans, Worlds of Fun, back yard. Olivia and Elaina got their professional dance pictures, and Olivia got to be a runway model downtown at a fashion show – wearing a dress made of balloons! Elaina graduated from her daycare and became a Kindergartner! Olivia had her freshman dance. I’m not ready for all of this growing up!

In June I started Pathophysiology. I knew it was a weed out course, but man, was it ever a weed out course. Unlike my other prereqs, Patho was taken at the nursing school. And it was entirely NCLEX style testing. In A&P I thought I was working hard, but I was killing it. In Patho, I found out there’s an entirely different level of pain when doing NCLEX style courses. Everything is “select the most correct answer” out of 5 correct answers, or they are “select all that apply.” Select the most correct requires that you have a really good grasp on the science and the correct thought process. A little sneak preview of 2020. I did manage to get through it, but it took a good 25+ hours a week of outside-of-class study time, no exaggeration.

June was also our annual dance nationals trip.

I think the following photo summarizes July.

July involved Elaina starting Kindergarten, Olivia starting high school AND Golden Girls dance team. We also did the normal August stuff like Worlds of Fun, because we like to be hot. We even went to see the Blue Angels – TWICE!

September. September is the month when my bookends have their birthdays. Olivia turned 15 (yikes), and Molly turned three. Of all of the kids, these two are the most alike. Olivia is growing up into a beautiful woman right before our eyes. Molly is thankfully still the baby even if she’s three. We discovered that Molly LOVES to catch shrimp at the Japanese steakhouse. Never would have guessed that. And did someone say apple orchard in 110 degree weather?? I also started my final two prereqs, Microbiology and Developmental Psychology.

October was halloween of course, and Molly was a vitchy vitch. But more importantly, we took our first real family vacation since our 2017 Disney trip. This year we went to Estes Park. None of the family except me had been there before. The kids were in love with the mountains, and in particular the snow. Lainey and I got to go horseback riding. It was a great week that culminated in meeting up with the entire family – mom and siblings in Colorado Springs so we could all go to Casa Bonita and get food poisoning, and quite possibly airborne chlamydia. Then we went to my sister’s place and fed ducks and celebrated my mom’s divorce being final.

In November, Epstein didn’t kill himself.

That of course brings us to December. In December we had Golden Girls competition and events interspersed with Influenza B, in spite of our early adoption of this year’s flu shot. Science fail. Nicole and I got to have literally our first kid-free overnight in more than six years, as my intrepid sister stayed with them. The sickness extended thru most of the month, so I got to try and hand a sleeping, angry toddler to Santa Claus. It went exactly how you would think it would have gone.

2020 is going to be a busy year. I will be less able to help with all of the logistics of running kids everywhere, so Nicole has enlisted her mom to help. Her mom retired early so she could help out with the 2020 stuff. This will be the year that Lainey starts first grade. Liv will start 10th, and the littles are getting closer and closer to kindergarten. For myself, it will be a year of 18 hour days. I’m anxious but excited to get going.

If you want regular updates, make sure to add me on Facebook. If you can’t find me on Facebook, you’re probably blocked. If you’re blocked on my Facebook, why are you reading here?

Merry Christmas, you disgusting freaks. Make sure to comment and include cute pictures of your families, and especially your pets.

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1 year ago

FIRST! Merry Christmas Petey! Bet you didn’t know I still read here! I’d post a pic of me and Steph but I don’t think I have any that are appropriate. 🙂

Your kids are so fucking cute I just wanna eat them up!!!

1 year ago

Hey Pete, Merry Christmas! You don’t update often but when you do it takes an hour to read! hahaha

B Gabbs
B Gabbs
1 year ago

I am late to the party. I didn’t even know you had kids. Apparently have not been keeping up very well!

1 year ago

Hmm I can’t find you on Facebook.