Did you hear that Paris Hilton is engaged. I’m sure that marriage will be long-lasting. You can be sure it will be a relationship filled with love, commitment, and maturity.
I had a great idea for an entry, but then I sneezed and it was gone. So you’ll just have to listen to a pointless, meandering entry about nothing. For instance, let’s talk about the nest of endangered woodpeckers in my attic.
As you know, I have woodpeckers living in my attic. Here’s the picture of their nest:
Yesterday I got home and the stench of the rotting garbage in my garage was almost unbearable, and had begun to seep into my house. The air conditioner was cycling the rotting smell through the house and it was getting worse and worse.
Thankfully, I have an attic fan, which I fired up as soon as I couldn’t take the smell anymore. As soon as I started it up, I heard this “THWACK!” followed by a thud in my hallway. I ran into the hall just in time to see a poof of feathers, and saw an endangered woodpecker on my floor. Well, half of him anyway.
As I was standing there, I heard another “THWACK!” and another poof of feathers shot into the hall. Then the other half of the bird came flying out and smacked off the wall, smearing blood and feathers everywhere. Then I realized… I had two half birds, but they were both the head end of the bird… I’d gotten two for the price of one. Eventually the tail halves of both birds came shooting out of the fan, and splatted in the hall.
Two bottles of Resolve, half a bottle of bleach, and a vacuum later, my woodpecker problem is solved.