Woman + Executive Job = Disaster

I suppose I should write about something interesting… Hmmm. Well guess what just got announced today. Just in time to provide me with sexist material when I was experiencing writer’s block.

Carly Fiorina got the boot. Yup. That’s right. Canned. Fired. Removed. The board of directors at Hewlett Packard are giving her “remote career planning®” assistance. (Remote Career Planning is a registered trademark owned by my dad).

Why, you ask, is this important? Well you see, Carly was the only female CEO of a Fortune 500 company. The only female CEO of a company in the DOW industrial average. She was the most powerful woman in business. Now she’s the most powerful woman in the unemployment line.

This is important to me, because I’ve long contended that women don’t have the cahones (haha) to run a big company. And I say that without a shred of discrimination. Let me explain.

Women have just as much brainpower as men. Just as much education. The same God-given abilities (if you ignore the obvious physical differences). So what would lead me to say women can’t hack it in a job like Carly got booted from?

Women are under the mistaken impression that in order to be successful at that level, they need to be more manly than the average… well, man. They cuss louder, bark more often, tell more dirty jokes… Of course I’m generalizing, but this concept is floating around out there.

There are two things in a business setting that men don’t respect. 1) People that let emotion influence business decisions. 2) Women that act like men.

There’s a problem there, if you’re paying attention. In general, women tend to allow emotions, at least to some extent, to influence their decisions. Women that are purely logical and emotionless, however, are considered raging beeotches. So it’s a bit of a puzzle for all you chicks out there.

Another puzzle for the chicks, is that in order to be a CEO, you have to be perfectly willing to have everyone in the organization hate your guts. In fact, you must revel in it. It’s your birthright as CEO. A lot of women don’t like the idea of being hated. Here I am generalizing again… but honestly, a man with a very dominate personality is usually to full of himself to bother taking it personally when people hate him. However, dominating women just get plain hateful when people don’t like them an cowtow to them.

I’m not going to draw any conclusions here. If you want to believe that the reason there are no female CEO’s in Fortune 500 companies is that men are discriminating pigs, that’s your right as a free-thinking American. If you want to believe that there are legitimate differences in the way men and women think and make decisions, thus leading to the fact that women are not in those jobs, that’s your right, too.

So tell me what you think.

  41 comments for “Woman + Executive Job = Disaster

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete yeah, ever since I went off the meds, I’m back to my bitter, cynical self…

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: syn_ack89 Yeah, I noticed that lately you have been extra truculent. 🙂

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete syn_ack89, have no fear. I’m just giving you crap. Men are just as capable of running a business into the ground as a woman. I’m just being provocative, and apparently I’m very good at it… 😉

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: syn_ack89 Well, my entry looked right when I entered it. Formatting issues. And Incredipete, you can also look at Cisco Systems (run by a man), high in 2000 at $82, now at $17. There are other examples. Bacially I don’t think that there is a large enough sample of women running large companies to determine whether they all stink or not.

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Nightmare Warcry I would blame his mother and sisters. I have friends who’s mothers and sisters babied them and they came to think that their shit don’t stink, and would never do anything to help. I on the other hand got severe ass whippings when I didn’t do what mom wanted. Plus she was a single Mom for the “informative” learning and cleaning stages of life. So being one of three brothers, we all had to do what the ignorant masses deem “womens” work. So if I were you I would hold off on any sexual favors, until he flys right. Or a swift kick to the junk, that sometimes can do the trick.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: warcrygirl *BEEEELCH* *BRAAAAAP*

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Unfortunately, Jenna… you’re probably right…

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss Just be happy Incredipete. This could be the most action you get all year. *rim shot* I lost my bet with Andy. The patriots rock my world. *sm00ch*

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Well, there’s a sucker born every minute…

  10. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wombatcity Wow, I never realized that ebay Mary Kay Oprah Avon Hearst Magazine Playboy was all one company…. Is Oprah a company? Or is she CEO of herself? Without a doubt ebay, Mary Kay and Avon are all successful, you can’t deny that.

  11. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Another theory would be that men refuse to take jobs with companies that are about to tank, but women always believe they can change them….. 😉

  12. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I like it, HRT! That would explain everything!

  13. hrt
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: hrt Here’s a theory: Maybe just before these companies are poised to tank they hire a woman to head them as the fall-girl.

  14. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Not to be mean, but did you realize that Lucent Technologies’ stock went from $60.00 per share in 1998 to under $3.00 per share in 2003?

  15. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: syn_ack89 Incredipete, FYI. CEO of Lucent Technologies Inc. Patricia Russo (http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/bios/russo.html) CIO of Lucent Technologies Inc. Ruth Bruch (http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/bios/bruch.html) Board of Directors http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/leaders.html And here are some others with women at the top: eBay Mary Kay Oprah Avon Hearst Magazines Playboy And just because Carly was bad as a CEO doesn’t mean all women are.

  16. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: syn_ack89 Incredipete, FYI. CEO of Lucent Technologies Inc. Patricia Russo (http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/bios/russo.html) CIO of Lucent Technologies Inc. Ruth Bruch (http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/bios/bruch.html) Board of Directors http://www.lucent.com/corpinfo/leaders.html And here are some others with women at the top: eBay Mary Kay Oprah Avon Hearst Magazines Playboy And just because Carly was bad as a CEO doesn’t mean all women are.

  17. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete She bought Compaq, because when she was little, the only gift her father ever gave her was a Compact for her purse. There’s no other logical explanation for why a reasonably intelligent adult would purchase a crapwad company like that…

  18. CF
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: CF I don’t disagree with your theory IndcrediIncredipete. But can you tell me what emotional business decisions Carly Fiorina made over the last 4 years that led to the stagnet stock prices and manufacture of a poor-quality product?

  19. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Jenna, you know I love you, babe. Fortunately, so far I have dodged the wife and kids bullet. However, I do work a higher level job, and take care of my household, which includes maintaining my house, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, tending to my evil canine daughters, etc. It is a lot of work, but I think that’s what Nightmare was trying to say. It’s nearly impossible to raise a family AND have a high-level job, because there just aren’t enough hours in the day. In some ways, I’ve forgone dating and having a family so I could advance my career. It’s a choice… not always an easy one, but a choice nonetheless.

  20. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT I bought a Dell and boy is it SAWEEET!!!

  21. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss *sigh* Just stop making me angry with you. *double-sm00ches-bebbeh-doll* I lost a bet to Andy. The patriots rock my world. *more-sm00ch*

  22. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss The point, my clueless friend, is that women are left to do everything in the home, most of the time, that also includes bringing home a paycheck. You should really consider how much it REALLY takes to run a decent household. It’s hard to do what mothers do without the luxury of having an assistant, a pay raise, incentive and benefits. They have a drive like nobody on earth. OUR point is that running a home AND working is JUST as tough as being CEO of a fortune 500 company. If women were PAID for all they do, their salaries would dwarf a CEO’s income. I lost a bet to Andy. The patriots rock my world.

  23. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete As much as I hate to agree with Jenna (*smooch*), I agree with her comment, too.

  24. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andria I was ready to go all femi-nazi on your ass when I first started reading, but I hate to admit that what you said makes some sense. BUT – I also agree with Jenna that position in corporate America does not equate to being powerful.

  25. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I could have mentioned the fact that many high-level “bonding” times for executives occur on the golf course, but then some outraged woman would have reminded me that the WPGA is going strong. Then I’d have to remind her that this is all hypothetical since A) No one reading this site, including me, is a CEO of jack squat. B) I play golf about as well as a quadraplegic cat. C) Very likely none of the people reading this site have ever even TRIED to become a CEO of anything.

  26. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Nightmare Holy Shit, I must be dating a man because My gorl does exactly that, come home, strip to our boxers, plant ourselves in front of the tv (or computer) and belch and fart contentedly until dinner, That I cook and then I pick up the dishes. I had to go look to make sure I didn’t grow a vagina. Or Maybe I have evolved further then the rest of the happy homemakers, and I no longer feel like I need growl in my cave and kick the dog when I get home and yell because she don’t have my dinner on the table, or that my shirts aren’t ironed. and all of the rest of that corn ball 1950’s mentality. It all boils down to acceptence. Either you accept the fact that chicks can do more then create life, and cook, or you think that they have all of the same benifits of a guy. But then Women, you need to make that choice too. Accept that you are a nuturing caring , giver of life, or you’re a hard nosed business bitch who gets the job done. But please do not try and do both at the same time. You will go crazy.

  27. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I have no idea what watching movies, stripping down to boxers, or crying have to do with the topic, btw.

  28. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete LOL. I for one wouldn’t want anyone running a computer company that somehow was unaware that Compaq makes the crappiest, most unreliable computers on the market, and proceded to pay good money to purchase said company.

  29. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wombatcity Actually, I’m pretty sure it was because the stock has not increased in value for almost 4 years, especially after the purchase of Compaq. Well, that and the fact that most men are, in fact, sexist pigs who don’t like to see women running Fortune 500 companies.

  30. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: warcrygirl I agree with Jenna. If women were really like men we would come home, strip to our boxers, plant ourselves in front of the tv (or computer) and belch and fart contentedly until dinner. We would then hit the couch and belch and fart some more. Now, I can do all the above (except for the boxers) and still get stuff done around the house and in the yard. Does this mean I’m weak because I cry during sad movies?

  31. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete That was me being truculent.

  32. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss Mental – for a flippin month… it IS pretty funny isn’t it!!!? Incredipete – I think i’m missing something. how can your point be someone else’s claim? “This is important to me, because I’ve long contended that women don’t have the cahones (haha) to run a big company.” THAT sounds more like a point and the reason for my initial comment. I lost a bet with Andy. The patriots rock my world.

  33. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental BWWWAAAHAAAAAAAAA @ Anisettekiss. Dude??!!! How long do you have to do that??!! That is fucking hilarious.

  34. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete But, the point I was making was “Feminists claim that women are excluded from CEO type jobs because men are discriminating pigs.” My contention is that biological differences lead to completely different priorities which lead to women not TRYING to get those jobs because they are busy doing things that are important to them.

  35. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss I’m almost sad you wrote that. When I think of a powerful woman, I don’t think of CEOs. I think of women who run entire families or host support groups or manage charities or are artists. Not only that, those women who DO work during the day are ALSO running their family when they get home. Powerfull women will not always equal fortune 500 CEOs in my mind. “I lost my bet with Andy. The patriots rock my world.”

  36. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental FIFTH BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!

  37. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental While I would like to concede that your little uhaul counts, I fear I cannot. The fact that you didn’t tie it to any deep philosophical meaning shows that you are not of the higher intelligence level that HRT and myself are privy to. Or something like that.

  38. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete LoL. Sorry. I wrote about the uhaul truck… doesn’t that count?

  39. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andy A speaker/Prof at Harvard just got into MAJOR trouble by stating the men and women may actually think and process things differntly and thus women and men may excel differntly at differnt things. There’s gobs of data on it, but they are drumming him out of Harvard. And of course a large Majority of women have babies. Most women i know prefer to dedicate themselves to familly first, then a career (as it had been for generations and most women I know tell me they instictively prefer it that way.) somehow, in the past 30 years this got thrown out. I blame Gloria Steinmen.

  40. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental FIRST BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental I’m very disappointed you didn’t write about cars.

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