We’ll Miss You, North Korea

North Korea has the worst case of small man’s syndrome I’ve ever seen. First, there is speculation that the “nuclear” test was actually just a bunch of dynamite set off underground. Apparently the tests done by India and Pakistan were 25-50 times larger than what North Korea just did.

Let’s assume for the moment that they DID actually have a nuclear weapon. It’s wussy by nuclear standards, but that aside… they also don’t have missiles capable of going over the poles. They tried to test a long-range missile a few months ago, and it failed miserably. So worst case scenario they have a wussy nuke they’ll have to send us by UPS.

Oh wait, we have sanctions with North Korea that prevent UPS from going there. I guess they’re just out of luck with their plan of world domination.

Have you ever watched Invader Zim? That’s how I see Kim Jong Il… a short little unimportant pissant. Is he crazy enough to use a nuke? Of course he is. The guy has a documentary crew follow him around, for Incredipete’s sake. He’s a complete nut.

However, it will be 20 years before they have all of the technology needed to fire nuclear missiles at the US, and by this time next month, he will have ticked off every remaining ally they have. China’s already angry with them. Their neighbors all hate them. Clearly, the US hates them.

All that’s going to happen if Kim Jong keeps rattling his sword (or in this case, his plastic light saber), he’s going to get himself “accidental shot” to quote John Wayne. Do you really think the nuclear club (US, China, France, India, Pakistan, Russia, United Kingdom, and probably Israel) are going to sit around and wait to see what happens?

I’m much more inclined to believe that he’s going to tick off the wrong person on the wrong day, and North Korea is going to be nuked into the stone ages. Incidentally, this will only set them back about 10 years (if you don’t count 90 years of radiation).

I’m reminded of the US general in World War II who was quoted as saying “I want to keep killing Japanese until the only place their language is spoken is in hell.” That’s what North Korea is getting ready to bring on themselves.

If only Kim Jong had made it to 6 feet tall, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

Farewell, North Korea. Say hello to Hitler and Stalin for us! (You might want to take some ice water… I hear it’s warm in hell.)

  6 comments for “We’ll Miss You, North Korea

  1. October 10, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    Wow, a small penis AND a small bomb? I’d like to say this guy is fucked…but that would be wrong.

  2. October 10, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    Small man syndrome. It’s the only explanation!

  3. Team America! F- Yea!
    October 12, 2006 at 9:03 am

    I saw an interesting documentary on North Korea last night on PBS. Kim Jong is the son of Kim Il, who really started the whole Meglamaniac ruler thing, I belive that South Korea truely wants a reunification, but in the past 40 years South K have moved light years
    ahead in tehcnology and economicy while NK has slipped back to the turn of the century

    I can see NK eventually collapesing under it’s own weight, but what will be left in it’s place is anyone’s guess. Unless of course Kim Jong does something foolish, either firing a Nuke or sharing the technology with the religion of peace terrorist. A scenario that I think is pretty plasuable.

  4. BJD
    October 12, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    I loved your comment about being nuked to the stone ages only means about 10 years in their case.

    The per capita income of South Korea is something like $28,000/year, and something like $1,500/year in the North. They’d have to borrow money to pay UPS, even if UPS could go there.

  5. Team America! F- Yea!
    October 13, 2006 at 9:04 am


    The doc I saw spoke a lot about the crippling economly in NK. People are starving to death, The streets are empy of any cars, so not only is the income of $1,500 low, you couldn’t by anything even if you had ten times that amount. There’s nothign to buy. The farms are failing. There really isn’t an economy. If we can get the world to sanction NK, they would crumble very quickly. Unforutanly innocent peasents in the coutry side are dying.

  6. October 13, 2006 at 9:50 am

    Team America, do you have a site I can visit?

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