So last night I found out that nuking frozen hamburger on “high” vs “defrost” really does make a difference. Who knew?
All I wanted to do was thaw it out. You should have smelled it. The smell of nuking hamburger is not a good one at all. I about gagged when I took it out. The middle was thawed nicely, but the entire edge was smoldering and cooked solid. So I had to take the hamburger from the middle and throw the rest away. It was very sad. I was hoping for 2 George Foreman burgers, and I only had enough meat left to make one.
And that brings me to the subject of warning labels. I think that microwaves should have a label on them that says “If you want to defrost something frozen, use “defrost” not “high” otherwise you will ruin your food.”
5 gallon buckets have a “drowning” warning for babies. Ladders have a warning telling you that “For heaven’s sake, don’t consider standing on this ladder.” Preparation H has a label that says “For external use only.” (Not that I have any personal experience with that product.) How freaking stupid would you have to be to eat Prep H?
Then we have warnings on McDonalds coffee “Hey moron, this stuff is HOT.” “Cigarettes cause lung cancer.” No kidding… thanks for the update, Captain Obvious.
All I’m saying is, if we’re going to go crazy with the labels, let’s label EVERYTHING. All items made of glass will say “This is glass… should you break it, the pieces will be sharp and will cut you.” All food of every kind will have a label that says “This is food. Although our theories change from day to day, we’re quite confident that if you eat this, you will die.” Books will have a warning: “This book contains pages made of paper. Paper has been known to cause paper cuts in lab animals.” Warning labels will have a warning label that says “This warning label has been known to choke small children. Also, the adhesive used to affix this warning label is toxic.”
Why be half-baked? This is America, Dammit.
PS – Reading Incredipedro may cause nausea, headache, insomnia, dry mouth, drowsiness, sweating or upset stomach, loss of appetite, unusual weight gain, anal leakage, unusual or severe mental changes, explosive flatulence, fatigue, frequent and/or painful urination, tooth loss, oozing pustules, uncontrolled violent tremors, decreased interest in sex, flu-like symptoms, vision changes, swelling or white spots on the mouth and/or tongue, changes in sexual ability, painful and/or prolonged erection, fainting, irregular/fast heartbeat, and in some rare instances, death.