Top 10

Now it’s time for the Top Ten Ways to Know You’ve Been in School Too Long.

10. If you’ve ever slept in your car in the school parking lot because it’s closer to work than to your house.

9. The Professors all think YOU’RE a Professor.

8. You consider taking 40 credit hours in one semester just to “speed things up.”

7. You routinely take naps in the student union.

6. The syllabus for your new class lists one requirement as a 50 page research paper “suitable for publishing in a peer reviewed journal” and you thank God it’s not going to be a HARD class.

5. You’ve randomly been assigned to a group – and you’ve been randomly assigned to a group with exactly the same members in a different class.

4. You always take provisions to last at least 7 days whenever you go to the campus.

3. You’ve used up all possible combinations of numbers and letters available using the english alphabet and regular integers, because school policy requires you to change your password to a new one you’ve never used before every 30 days.

2. You have more credit hours than your Ph.D. Professors.

1. You’ve been in college for 11 years and you still have another semester to go…

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Yes, I officially have senioritis. I’ve been in school since August of 1996, and I won’t be finishing my MBA until December 2007. No matter how you try to spin it, that’s a long effing time to be in college. Keep in mind that before that I was in 12 years of school leading up to college. So basically I have 23 years of school and I’m only 28.

Granted, I chose to submit myself to this daily torture. Circumstances never allowed me to JUST go to school. I always had to work full time – I had to pay my way as I went. Heck, I’m still paying my way. The college will be taking another $5,000.00 of my hard earned money before it’s all said and done.

I went through the depressing exercise of calculating what I’ve actually spent on my education, and it’s disturbing. No WONDER I’ve been working my butt off and I’m still broke! Keep in mind this doesn’t include room and board!

Total Cost (including tuition, fees, books, and supplies): $112,105.48
Total Amount Reimbursed (by various employer plans): $18,000.00

My Out-of-Pocket Cost: $94,105.48

The good thing is, I don’t OWE $94,000, but the bad news is I never EVER had any extra money – I was always scraping by, even though I’ve had decent jobs for the past 6 years.

I’m tired of doing the right and responsible thing. I want to do the foolish and irresponsible thing, whatever the heck that is. I want to be done with school and never look back.

248 days to go.

  7 comments for “Top 10

  1. April 11, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Oh Sweet Jesus. I’ll come back and make a witty comment when my head stops spinning.

  2. April 11, 2007 at 11:40 am

    I’m going to bet this won’t make you feel any better, but … while being unemployed for the second time in 12 months, in the past week both my telly and my PC monitor have died.

  3. April 11, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    And that’s why I gave up on school the second I graduated in May of 1996. I was just too fucking lazy to go on any further. Hence my less-than-stellar career arc.

  4. April 11, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    I should have stopped while I still had my sanity!

  5. April 12, 2007 at 10:02 am

    I want to be all supportive and be your little cheerleader, however…

    YUCK. School is SUCH a pain.

    HOWEVER. If it were easy, everyone would go.
    Where’s the fun in having a corporate-bad-asss degree if any schmo can attain one???

    You’re the king, baby.

  6. Wen
    April 12, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    You know, you could have saved a ton of money by just going to beauty school…

  7. April 13, 2007 at 9:16 am

    That is a long-ass time to be in school, but at least you don’t owe the $100K in student loans…I know a lot of people that do. When you’re done, you and Jenna need to take a vacation where you do absolutely nothing. 🙂

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