Three Really Dumb Things

Kissing the Blarney Stone.


Why did kissing the Blarney Stone become popular? Well, it’s supposed to give you good luck and the “gift of the gab.” However, it’s far more likely to give you a Staph infection given that the locals get drunk and use it as a urinal on Saturday nights. Add to that the fact that millions of visitors kiss it every year, there’s probably also a fair amount of hepatitis and salmonella on there as well.

I suppose it’s good that kissing the stone gives you the gift of the gab. You’ll be able to convince the doctor that you got hepatitis in an honorable way.

Street Luge


I’m sure we’ve all heard of road rash. Well, street luge is the ideal way to get full-body road rash while having the added benefit of simultaneous internal decapitation. Riding 1 inch from the road at 80 MPH is simply not smart.



Most of you have probably never heard of Parkour. That’s because it’s incredibly retarded and lame. However, it’s also an incredibly effective way to sprain your ankle or break your wrist in everyday settings. Parkour is the “sport” where people try to climb walls and other objects using various skills such as running, jumping, and falling.

Not only is it stupid for the danger factor, it’s stupid because it’s retarded and pointless.

  1 comment for “Three Really Dumb Things

  1. July 23, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    You crack me up!

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