The Philosophy of Poverty

For my more astute readers, the title of this post will remind them of Kant’s Poverty of Philosophy. It’s purely coincidental, however.

Many a person has written a book about how to get rich. Richness, you see, is a philosophy. It’s a way of living. People who are rich didn’t just wake up rich. They decided to be rich and then took action to become rich. That’s how it works.

You don’t see a lot of people writing books on the philosophy of being poor. Aside from Franciscan Monks, that is.

Being poor is just as much a decision as being rich. The difference is that, unlike richness, poorness is the default. If you don’t decide one way or the other, you will be poor.

But what if you want to be poor?

This is a paradox. If you have enough self-awareness and cognitive ability to consciously make that choice, then you aren’t merely a slob. Thus, you will have to take steps to insure your future poorness.

In case you fall into the hypothetical category of smart person that desires to be poor, I have assembled a set of steps to assist you.

1. Don’t put in any more effort at your job than the bare minimum to avoid being fired.

2. When you get your paycheck, cash it immediately.

3. Pay your rent, then spend the rest of your paycheck on something worthless and/or disposable (booze, drugs, rims, designer jeans, etc.).

4. Do not take care of your personal possessions.

5. When you’re not at your job, go to the bar or club and drink.

6. By all means, don’t read any books or take any classes.

7. Never watch national news or politics… only local news.

8. Make sure to only spend time with other people who desire to be poor (or are by default).

9. When you see people who have lots of money, assume they were just lucky.

10. Vote Democrat.

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  2 comments for “The Philosophy of Poverty

  1. August 3, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    I’m pretty sure that Paris Hilton is practicing half of the items on that list! 🙂

  2. livieloo
    August 3, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Bahaha! Incredipete, I love you!

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