The Movie Cartel Strikes Again. Twice.

Well, it’s halfway through the weekend, so it’s time for an update.

My friend SB was in town, so Friday night I went to see “Dodgeball.” It was mostly retarded, with a spattering of funniness. The highlight of the film was when the dodgeball “coach” comes in with a bag of wrenches and says “if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball” and then started nailing them with the wrenches. However, I had already seen that part, because they used it in the previews. I hate it when all of the funny parts are included in the previews, and the rest of the movie is just moronic boobosity. (Thanks to Bob A. for that word)

So, just to make sure I didn’t recover fully, I went to see “Stepford Wives” with a chick friend of mine. This movie was completely retarded from start to finish. The original was creepy, and had a point. This version tried to be funny, and it wasn’t. Why would you remake a movie, anyway? Nobody ever likes a remake better than the original. We compare the new one using the original as the standard, so the new one never stands a chance. If the movie had first been done as a comedy, and now they made it creepy, everyone would say “it sure is retarded that they tried to make that funny movie creepy.”

And the worst part is, they charge you 8 bucks to get into the movie, regardless whether it sucks or not, and they have the nerve to charge 4 bucks for a coke. I can go to Quicktrip and buy the same coke for 49 cents. Is the movie theater’s coke better in some way? Aren’t there laws about price gouging? What’s the difference between that and a gas station raising their price when there is fear of shortages? I remember in Kansas City on September 11th, the gas stations doubled or tripled their prices. Of course, they had a captive audience because no one was going to drive out of town to buy gas. Later, the stations were charged by the DA for price gouging. There are striking similarities to the gas station gouging and the Coke gouging. I think the DA needs to take a serious look at the AMC Theater Concession issue.

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is my truck. It is leased, and in a couple of months I have to turn it back in. The trouble is, I have hardened asphalt splattered on the paint, and a thick layer in my wheel wells. It will not come off with any known substance, and I know that I’ll be charged for “excessive wear” when I turn it in. If anyone out there knows how I can clean that crap off, please, send me an email or post a comment. And yes, I know that a dremel with a sanding attachment would take it off… I need “Helpful” suggestions. Thanks

Although I’d love to go on for several more paragraphs, I must desist, because nature calls…
Incredipete