The Date’s Going Badly

How to Tell That Your Date is Going Badly

1. When she never shows up. (Always a sure sign, this has happened to me several times.)

2. When she excuses herself to go to the bathroom and never comes back.

3. When she orders a drink by saying “I want the strongest thing your bartender can legally make.”

4. When you lean in to kiss her goodnight and she sprays you with Mace.

5. When she tells you she agreed to go out with you because she thinks your buddy is hot and wants you to fix them up. (Ok, this happened to me, too.)

6. When halfway through dinner she says “OH, I thought you had a GOOD job.”

7. When she gets so wasted on the first date that she can’t find her own house. (I swear, this one actually happened to me.)

8. When she spends the entire time answering your questions with “yes” or “no” resulting in her speaking a total of 9 words for the evening. Then she thinks you’re a jerk because you don’t call her again. (Yes, this one actually happened to me, too. I don’t date people that can’t carry on a conversation about SOMETHING. ANYTHING.)

9. When she tells you that she wants to date you so long as it’s ok that she dates other people too, but she doesn’t want you to see anyone else.

10. When you ask her to come up to your place after the date and she laughs so hard that she snorts.

Talk with you later.

  14 comments for “The Date’s Going Badly

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Just sos you know:

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Yup, we are.

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy To answer the Incrediquesion of the day. “What if this is as good as it gets?”

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Nobody can keep the pace of the Incredi-updater…!

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Jackie Incredipete, I have to go off the subject for a minute. How on God’s green earth did you go on Pork Tornado’s comments page and tell that poor girl Katie and I quote “The key to a successful diary, unless you are uber-talented like Dusty, is to update A LOT. Seriously, you will be amazed. Keep it up!” You are killing me.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy My bad “Lynne” we should never assume….

  7. Ms.
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Ms. Right Oh yeah, don’t let Incredipete fool you with his big talk. He prefers spanking to being spanked.

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Truly, I have a host of friends.

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: “Lynne” Wendy, you are assuming that all those things happened on SEPARATE dates.

  10. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Okay. In that case you are sad.

  11. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete You’re amazed I’ve had 4 dates? You don’t have much faith in me, do you Wendy?

  12. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Consider yourself spanked!

  13. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Jackie I am so glad you finally got rid of that effing proverb.

  14. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Let me be the first to say…Are we supposed to believe that you have actually had that many dates?

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