The Conservative Test

So, I’ve decided to provide a useful little quiz to help those of you that are confused (liberals) about where you stand politically. I’ll try to keep it simple and use small words so I don’t overwhelm those of you (liberals) who are a bit slower than the rest of the pack.

I decided to do this as a public service after I realized something. Conservatives NEVER switch sides and become liberals. However, you hear about liberals switching to the conservative side all the time. My favorite example is Dennis Miller. He was an outspoken liberal nutjob. Then he learned how to read, and the next thing you knew, he was a conservative.

I’m not implying that all liberals are illiterate. I’m just saying that they must not read anything.

So here’s the quiz. You get to self score:


1. I like taking responsibility for my actions. Yes No Maybe

2. I don’t want to support people that are lazy and unproductive. Yes No Maybe

3. Government tends to be inefficient and retarded. Yes No Maybe

4. A woman’s right to choose ends when she chooses to have unprotected sex. Yes No Maybe

5. The founding fathers intended to protect the church from government meddling, not the other way around. Yes No Maybe

6. Taxing business and rich people more than everyone else drives businesses out of the country. Yes No Maybe

7. Parents who choose to put their children into a private school and still pay taxes should receive the same amount of money for their children’s education as those who put their children into public schools. Yes No Maybe

8. Government does not exist to bail out poorly run business like airlines. Yes No Maybe

9. Government exists for two reasons: To provide security from foreign threats, and to provide equitable boundaries for the free market economy. Yes No Maybe

10. The only good government is a smaller government. Yes No Maybe


If you answered yes to more than 5 questions, you tend to lean towards conservatism.
If you answered no to more than 5 questions, you tend to lean towards liberalism.
If you answered exactly 5 questions yes and 5 questions no, you are a textbook moderate.
If you answered maybe to more than 5 questions, you tend to be a panty-waisted, yellow dog.

  12 comments for “The Conservative Test

  1. November 11, 2005 at 12:31 pm

    Wow, I answered Yes to all 10 questions… go figure.

  2. November 11, 2005 at 12:41 pm

    Incredipeter, I will have you know, that with my “do-gooder” status, I answered yes to FIVE of your silly questions (no maybes, btw) – which proves my point that I am neither conservative nor liberal. A person can have views on both sides, you know. Just because I think a woman has the right to choose doesn’t mean my tax dollars should pay for her abortion if she’s poor and unemployed and/or on welfare (a program I despise – so take that, bucko).

  3. November 11, 2005 at 12:42 pm

    You are what I would call a moderate… in fact.. thanks.. I’m going to add that as one of the scoring options.

  4. November 11, 2005 at 12:45 pm

    I answered yes to 7 out of 10; question #7 confused me though. You get money for sending your kids to school? Am I missing something here?

  5. November 11, 2005 at 12:53 pm

    Public school system spends about 10,000 per year on each student they educate, funded by your taxes. If I put my kid into a private school, I still have to pay the taxes AND I have to pay the tuition at the school. Vouchers are the sensible solution.

  6. November 11, 2005 at 1:18 pm

    I tend to make Attila the Hun look like a pansy with some of my views … but on some others I’ve got the panty-waist thing going for me. I am pro-choice, yet I do not feel that anybody should use abortion as a method of birth control. I feel that product-testing on animals should be banned. Let’s use those folks on death row instead, it would be more realistic testing on humans. I think that welfare should be limited to six weeks, then get off your arse and get a job. I think everybody should have access to healthcare. I *do* feel that people who make less money should pay less in taxes. I feel that those of us who are childless and property-less should not contribute to those tax bases. Just a few examples…

  7. allie
    November 11, 2005 at 1:37 pm

    i actually came up a moderate … WHO knew … i’m gonna need to revisit some things … cause i’m pretty darn ok with the title of flaming liberal ….

  8. Rik
    November 11, 2005 at 5:12 pm

    Eff that. Vouchers? You pay your taxes and shut up. If you send your kids to private school, good for you. You still pay your taxes. I say flat tax. “Flat tax.” see?
    I’m a 8/10 yes’r. I voted for Bush three times. shhhhhh 😉

  9. November 11, 2005 at 8:21 pm

    I answered yes to all the questions – are you sure that doesn’t make me Pat Robertson…..?

  10. November 13, 2005 at 5:28 pm

    9 out of 10. I answerd maybe on number 4, because I believe it should read “when she chooses to have sex”

  11. HRT
    November 14, 2005 at 2:03 pm

    8 out of 10, not quite the ultra-conservative that allie paints me out to be. People should be responsible, and the all-mighty-government it its infinite wisdom is more full of itself than the otherway around.

  12. November 14, 2005 at 3:21 pm

    I excercised my right to not take your test and after doing that I realized this wasn’t much of an update and shut down my computer to ponder life’s greatest question….Why is David Hasselhoff so fucking popular in Germany?

    Since coming to no conclusion on life’s greatest question I decided to have another look at the test, once again decided to excercise my right to not take it and went for ice cream.

    Thanks Incredipete! always looking out for the other guy.

    I lurves you!

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