I decided that today I’m going to do a biographical entry for you. Not that you really want to know that much about Incredipete, but heck, it’s my diary, so get used to it. Let me start at the beginning:
So there I was, in the fallopian tube…
Just kidding. I’ll start with the basics. As you know I was born in Kansas City on May 16th, 1978 at… I’m not making this up… Research Medical Center, in Kansas City, Missouri. I never figured out what kind of “research” they were doing, but I’m pretty confident it had something to do with hair loss.
My first real memory was when I was about 2. I remember being rocked in my mom’s red rocking chair. That’s the whole memory. The next one I have after that is going to the “North Pole” in Colorado when I was 3.
But enough about phantom memories. When I was 5, I went to preschool at the Montessori. My teachers, Ms. Harbor, and Mrs. Erikson were very cool, and they let me sit with my girlfriend Jill. Jill would come over to my house sometimes and play in the sandbox with me. I never saw her again after that year. Sniff.
My sister Laura is 3 years older than me, and she would abuse me psychologically on a regular basis. For instance, she told me that anything with the United Artists logo was bad and I couldn’t watch it. Unfortunately for me, that included all cartoons. Yes, I was deprived.
When it was time for kindergarten, my mother thought homeschooling would be a viable option. She failed to account for two very important details: 1. I am a major pain in the butt. 2. She was about to be pregnant with my brother, David. She is RH Negative, which means she had lots of complications every time she had a baby. She was confined to bed for the last couple months, and had him 6 weeks early.
Shortly after that, we moved to our house on Knox Street, where I met my bestest friend in the world, Alice. She was a babe, a wordly, hoebag of a 6 year old. But I loved her anyway.
My dad had suddenly decided to start a church, and started pastoring when I was 6. The church was small, ranging from twenty to sixty people over the years. Anyway, about that time, my mother decided she couldn’t possible handle homeschooling me anymore.
Then they enrolled me in a private Christian school, “SMC.” SMC was a small Baptist school, with about 120 students from K-12th grade. (Do the math, that’s about 10 per grade.) Most of the classes were combined, 2 grades at a time.
My first grade experience was pretty good. I had a girlfriend, Carrie, and the teacher let us be reading partners. I was also in a gang of roughians, known as the “Fearsome Foursome.” I don’t honestly remember the fourth, but I know two of them, Eric and Ryan. (Ryan now works at the starbucks down the street from my parents.)
We terrorized the playground for 3 years. Those were the days. I spent 2nd and 3rd grade in love with Ashley. She was a babe, but I have no idea where she is now. How sad.
At this point, my parents made the inexplicable decision to move me to a different school, “KCC” where I was forced to make new friends. I met a cool guy named Gabe, and had a crush on Betsy. That year, my parents made another inexplicable decision, to have my “Incredibly adorable little sister.” So my mother was once again laid up for months, this time spending significant time in the hospital.
This meant that my older sister got to do much of the “raising” (beating and cooking) for the family. She was a mere 13 years old, so it was a stretch for her, but she pulled it off.
I remember one Wendnesday night while my mom was in the hospital, and they nearly lost her. That was a bit freaky. Not too much later, my sister Bethany was born. 12 weeks early. She was 3 pounds, and looked like a “dead blue squirrel” to quote my grandma. She was in the ICU for a long time, because 1987 was the dark ages for premies.
But she made it, and everything was back to normal. Except that at the end of 4th grade, my mom once again decided to try and homeschool me. She forgot rule number 1. I am a major pain in the butt.
She handled it for 6 weeks, and gave up. So they decided to put me back in SMC. That’s when I met my future wife, Melanie. Ok, not really. But I thought she was going to be.
Then came junior high. I don’t remember much, except for dreaming about Melanie, and watching her date other people. (But I’m not bitter) On more than one occassion she told me (without provocation) that I was her best friend. So I didn’t completely lose out.
My friend Gabe from 4th grade transferred to SMC for high school, so we hung out quite a bit, along with my friend Kent. We were the “nerds” of the school, and we were ok with it. Kent and I took Physics as an elective, if that tells you anything.
Three years in a row, Kent and I submitted our science research to the University of Kansas Symposium. Kent’s senior year (my junior) Kent placed in the top 10, and I was the alternate (number 11, in case someone in the top 10 died of stage fright). Kent presented to a group of scholars at KU, and I got to try out the harmonics of the crystal glasses on the tables.
I was also involved heavily in art while in high school. I learned drawing, painting, sculpture, calligraphy, reposse’, and batik, to name a few. It turned out my best talent was calligraphy. I went to the midwestern regionals 3 times. I placed 2nd as a Sophomore, and decided that wasn’t good enough. My junior year I took 1st place and “Best of Show” and went to the National competition in South Carolina, where I placed second. Once again, I decided that wasn’t good enough. My senior year, I took 1st at regional and “Best of Show” then went to Nationals and took 1st.
Finally I graduated (salutatorian, and let me point out that the valedictorian never went on to college and now has a crappy job) and the next day I began my first job. I still work there to this day, although I have been promoted 3 times since then.
Since I did well in art in high school, I figured I should study it in college. I started at the community college, in Graphic Design. It took 3 semesters before a teacher took me aside and told me I was a talentless hack, and needed to quit.
So I did, and spent the next year focusing on Photography (no pun intended). I had an awesome teacher, Stu, and he taught me tons. He had actually been taught by none other than Mr. Ansel Adams himself. I had already taken some photography classes during my first 3 semesters, and in fact, that was how I met Ms. Right.
Yes, you all know the story of Ms. Right. I won’t even go into it here.
I finally finished my 2 year degree in 2000, and thought I was done with school forever. But I was wrong. Another promotion later, I decided to get a business degree. So I enrolled at UMKC, and began the icky process. I finally finished in May of 2004. Of course, you also know that in April of 2004, I bought my first house, and that brings us to today.
So there you have it, my life in a nutshell. (also no pun intended)