Testicles

Today let’s tackle the delicate subject of testicles.

Testicles are one of the best examples of why evolutionary biology is nonsense. In what universe does it make any sense to have a man’s most sensitive anatomy located not only externally, but perfectly positioned for getting twisted between one’s own legs, crushed by one’s own thighs, and exposed for injury at all times.

The lightest bump to a mans testicles can send him to the floor in agony. It makes absolutely no sense to locate them outside the body.

I know what you all are thinking. “Incredipete, they have to be outside so they can regulate temperature for sperm.” To that I say, bull. Women keep their ovaries safely positioned INSIDE their body cavity. They are full of eggs. Eggs are ostensibly just as delicate as sperm. Yet female anatomy is smart enough to know that body parts were meant to be inside the body where they are protected.

But Incredipete, men make their sperm all the time, eggs are all there from the beginning. So. Freakin. What. In the course of 400 gigityflopjillion years of evolution we couldn’t get a better system for manufacturing sperm than one that requires a temperature between 98.59999 and 98.6000001 degrees? That is a ludicrous assessment of the evolutionary process.

And even if you could make a case that it’s the most logical place to put them…. what is with men getting the ugly genitals? I think it’s pretty universally agreed that women are pretty and men are weird looking. Gay men agree. Straight women agree.

Testicles are stupid.

  4 comments for “Testicles

  1. April 24, 2013 at 9:16 am

    jim commented on The Compassionate Conservative:

    http://www.wordnik.com/lists/a-testicle-by-any-other-name

  2. April 24, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Incredipete, I’ve been saying this for years. You are so right!

  3. April 24, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Is this Jim character related to me or is there another similar Jim out there?

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