Survey Results

I was somewhat disappointed with the number of responses to the survey yesterday, but I will share the anonymous results anyhow. 319 folks completed the survey.

Gender – 64% male, 35% female, 1% confused
Political Affiliation – 31% republican, 24% democrat, 9% libertarian, 2% communist, and the rest call themselves Ambivalent
Religious Affiliation – 94% Christian Protestant, 5% Catholic, 1% other
Age – 12% 19-24, 73% 30-45, the rest over 45
Relationship Status – 71% Married, 18% Single, 3% Divorced, 1% Whoring Around, 6% Wish I Was Divorced

People who are divorced preferred to say they were single, and the majority said its because they think saying single increases their odds of finding a new relationship.

Average number of sex partners for male respondents was 4.3. Average number of sex partners for female respondents was 32.5. Removing the couple of outliers that had 80-150 partners, the female average number of sex partners was 13.9. Apparently my female readers like to fool around. And apparently my male readers are nerds.

The majority of men felt they had shot too low in their single days. The majority of women consider themselves sluts in their younger years.

100% of respondents think bacon is awesome.

13% of readers admit to committing a felony without getting caught. Of those, 78% were female.

Of male readers, 8% admit to having cheated in a committed relationship. Just over 17% of females admitted to cheating. Of those numbers, 1% of male readers say it was emotional cheating, while 9% of females say it was emotional cheating. It should be noted that even those who admitted to cheating, almost without exception the married folks said they have never and would never cheat on their spouse.

21% of male readers have been cheated on by their partner. Only 14% of female readers have been cheated on.

93% of readers admit to getting drunk and doing something stupid. I can attest to the fact that all of the stories were hilarious and/or tragic.

68% of respondents can’t figure out what their partner was thinking when they were with their ex. 29% say the past is the past, and the rest would like to kick their partner’s ex in the junk.

The prevailing opinion on asshats is that George W Bush is an asshat.

According to the readers, men’s underwear gets stained because they don’t wipe properly. Seems to simple to be true.

98% of people say their spouse and/or kid(s) are the best thing about their life. The other 2% said TV. Really.

The majority of female readers notice a guy’s eyes first. Men… well, we are checking out your butt.

Now for the most interesting result. 88% of men said they would not remain friends with an ex if they were in a new relationship because it’s not worth the friction. 74% of women said hell yes, you can never have too many friends. I attribute this to the fact that women are fine with platonic relationships and think their ex can stop thinking about them that way. Men know men, so they know better.

The key to a happy marriage is communication, mutual goals, and great sex. Almost everyone said this. The people who didn’t were also folks who were not married. Go figure.

Even though my readers didn’t follow this path in general, over 90% of readers male and female said the best time to introduce sex into a relationship is on the wedding night. I’m impressed with your morals albeit not your self control!

Well, that was fun. Thanks for playing!