So far, Abby has cost $880. That works out to $293 per day. At this rate, I’ll need a second job in about one more week. But she is a love, and you can’t put a price on love…

Frankly, I’m used to high-maintenance women… I’m not used to cleaning up their potty messes, but it just goes to show you can get used to anything. And I am pretty sure that I’ve never spent $800 bucks on a woman in the first 3 days. But Abby can be the exception.

She has escaped nearly every space I’ve confined her to, and is only trapped in the basement because I used a piece of plywood that is too heavy for her to move. Last night, she opened my rolltop desk, took the jar of peanut butter, took the lid off, and ate half of it. She didn’t try to hide the evidence, so she still isn’t as smart as me, but she’s only a baby. I fear the day when her intelligence passes mine.

Saturday I had a steady stream of visitors that came over to see dear Abby. Abby continued her lesbian behavior and stuffed her face into any visible cleavage she could find. She really likes to lick girls boobs. So, being the proud daddy that I am, I gave her treats every time she did it. Positive reinforcement is the only way to go…

She was in hog heaven with all the attention Saturday, and by the end of the day, she was exhausted. She crashed out in front of the fireplace for several hours. I finally put her back in the basement so I could go to bed, and she was so tired she didn’t even cry.

And of course, She’s got me wrapped around her little paw, and I give her whatever she wants. Yesterday we went to the pet store, and I let her pick out her own treats and toys. Of course, she picked all of the most expensive things in the store… I also have a knack for doing that so I couldn’t complain.

We also visited my parents’ house where they have a fenced yard. Abby ran around and attacked leaves. My little sister spoiled her with Milkbone® treats and ice cubes. She had little interest in going back home with me once she’d had ice cubes. Finally I talked her into leaving with me, with the promise of more ice cubes at my house. We chilled outside for a while, and then she once again crashed by the fireplace.

Taking care of her is making me want to hurry up and have some kids… anybody out there interested in helping?