Suck It Up & Move On

Words of wisdom from my high school algebra teacher. When we would get too much homework and start complaining, he would say it every time. “Suck it up and move on.”

What do you do when life is frustrating? When things don’t go your way? When you have to keep your problems to yourself?

Some people would shut down, melt down, or give up. Some people would try harder. Some people would carry on hoping things would work out.

I am an internalizer. I focus 100% of my stress, frustration, and anger inwards. When I was younger, it wasn’t so bad. I could physically handle it, which is a big part of the deal. I also had less stress. As I’m getting older, my body just can’t hold up to the constant stress of holding everything in.

I’ve been advised that I should get in touch with my feelings and emotions. While I agree this is good advice, I reject the notion that I’m not already “in touch.” I just don’t share. It’s not even that I don’t want to share, but the conditions have to be right, and it has to be someone I know won’t a) laugh their butt off, or b) be mad at me for feeling however I do.

The truth is, I almost never feel comfortable sharing. Strangely, I usually feel pretty comfortable sharing here… odd, since it’s public, but not so odd, considering it’s largely anonymous.

Lately, my internalization has begun causing me health problems. Granted, they’re self-inflicted psychological problems, but guess what… those are as real as they get. I never would have believed any of it before experiencing it. I used to think people who were like me were weak and needed to just “suck it up” and stop worrying.

Uh. No. That doesn’t work.

So, I’m somewhat at a loss, because I know my current status quo is not going to work. Most of my stressors are outside of my control (although some are not), so that’s giving me a feeling of being out of control, which is another feeling I’m not good at dealing with.

But, since it’s out of my control, I guess I’ll just suck it up and shut up. Thanks for letting me bore you.

  3 comments for “Suck It Up & Move On

  1. November 20, 2006 at 11:13 am

    Oh, Incredipete… I totally understand, because I internalize almost all of my feelings as well, which only hurts myself. My problem is that I let things that don’t matter (or even affect me personally sometimes) affect me way more than they should. I’m trying to get over it, but it’s hard.

    Stupid feelings.

  2. BJD
    November 20, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    I’m an internalizer too, so I’m with you on this. Pressure (from the outside) and stress (from the inside, our answer to pressure) are always going to be there at some level, but I think we can find ways to reduce or manage it – for a time at least, since life keeps changing and we need to keep adjusting our response to it. I find that the sooner I make changes on things that I control even slightly, the better I feel. Being out of control adds to stress just as you say, but I’ve found that taking control actually reduces it. Even if those changes are hard (and all change is hard at some level), they pave the way for a different and fresher perspective. I know you’ll find the way.

  3. Wen
    November 20, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    Therapy! It works, even if it’s just unloading your thoughts on a non-judgemental stranger (really, the best kind of stranger). But therapists also give you ways to deal with stress and/or confrontation (my biggest problem). It takes a little time ( few months), but you might feel a lot better.

Comments are closed.