Stupid Hate Mail of the Day

I haven’t really been faithfully updating, so the post should be titled “Stupid Hate Mail of the Year,” but it’s my blog and you can suck it.

Ever since I started this blog 6 years ago, I’ve received a semi-steady stream of hate mail. Most of it has been funny, some a tad disturbing, and some outright nuts. I used to share these on a regular basis so we could all share in the hilarity, but I’ve been lax. I’ve been saving some of the best ones and so now I present you with 2010-2011 Hate Mail. Please note I have not edited for content, spelling, or grammar. All notes are exactly as they were sent to me.

—03/31/10—

I have been reading your stupd blog for over three years, and Ive always thought you were a jerk, but I never knew how offul you are til I saw you using racial slurs. I couldnt believe it when I opened my RSS and there it was, IN THE TITLE. You are a terrible person. – No longer a fan

I personally love this email. For background as to what NLAF is referring to, go HERE. Now that you’ve had a good laugh, you can see that this person was incorrectly and ironically offended by my use of the word “niggardly” which I furthermore explained IN the blog post. At one point I hoped that my blog would attract an intellectual crowd capable of intelligent disagreement. Then I laughed heartily to myself.

—04/12/10—

you are going to regret talking bad about the gulf coast. you are so ignorant talking aobut the environment like you do. god made the earth and people like you dont even care if we mess it up. you call yourself a christian, but you are a terrible person. i hope you die from exhaust fumes. – Mary

I wrote another sarcastic post talking about how the Earth was ultimately going to be just fine, we just might accidentally kill ourselves off in the process. Apparently this person does not appreciate my point of view. The last sentence is definitely some bad juju.

—09/17/10— NOTE: This hate mail is epic, both in content and in length (fortunately it uses proper English)

First off, I should tell you that I know you and I was there when you were leading worship for the youth group at [REDACTED]. I also know who the girls were that went to the pastor. They are not the terrible people that you think they are. Nobody in the youth group knew you. Pastor [REDACTED] asked you to lead without talking to any of us, so right off the bat, there were a lot of unhappy people. When you came into the youth group, you were way older than anyone, and you didn’t seem interested in talking to anyone but the people in the band. I’d have assumed you were shy but I knew otherwise because all of the people on the adult worship team got along with you fine.

In reality, you brought all that stuff on yourself by being withdrawn. People saw you barely interacting with the youth group and they assumed you were a weirdo. Maybe that’s fair, maybe it’s not, but it’s the truth.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out why you stuck around after they went to Pastor [REDACTED]. Personally I think you stayed just to make those girls uncomfortable and make them feel bad. Very mature. And then you were all nicey nice to them too, which was really mean. Making people feel bad for saying something when you brought it on yourself is simply ridiculous. And very un-Christian.

Here you are, all these years later, and you’re still mad about it. You’re still talking about it. When are you going to let it go? – Your Sister in Christ

If you read that whole thing, I am sorry for you. I love her logic:

1. I acted shy but couldn’t have possibly actually been shy
2. Acting shy made me creepy
3. Creepiness is a valid reason for people to run to the pastor and snitch
4. Being nice to those that talked crap to the pastor is immature and mean
5. Never letting go of something (which was never apologized for) is bad
6. I should let it go
7. PS, she’s my sister in Christ

—05/30/11—

Your a dick.

This one was in response to… I don’t know. I haven’t updated in 2 months. Still funny, though.

  1 comment for “Stupid Hate Mail of the Day

  1. livieloo
    June 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Hilarious!
    The one from “your sister in Christ” was especially hilarious and illogical.

    I love that “No Longer A Fan” read your “stupid” blog for three years. How’s that for stupid… which reminds me of a good John Wayne quote you might like: “Life is tough, it’s even tougher when you’re stupid”

    …And Mary might want to use correct grammar when she’s calling someon ignorant.

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