Stop Cutting Your Grass & Get A Job

Let’s think about the logic of lawns. What is the point of fertilizing, watering, and babying grass so that it will grow green and beautiful, just so we can chop it down in it’s prime? The grass deserves to be able to grow to it’s full potential, don’t you agree? Grass has feelings, too! If you want one inch tall green shag in your front yard, then buy some shag carpet. Otherwise, you should let it grow.

In parts of Kansas, you will see grass by the side of the highway all the time that says “Native Prairie Grass.” It is usually several feet tall, and I think what it really means is “We, the State of Kansas, have spent all of our money patroling neighborhoods to make sure the yards are cut short, and paying losers that won’t get a job to stay at home and watch Jerry Springer, and we don’t have enough funds left to pay a crew to cut the grass along the highway. However, since we are ‘the man’ we can stick a sign up and justify it to you.” I’ll bet if I stuck a sign in my yard that said “Native Prairie Grass” and stopped cutting it, I would be getting a hefty ticket from the city before I could say “Imminent Domain.”

And that’s just one example of how the government sticks it to you. Think about it. If I don’t balance my budget, Visa sends thugs to my house to toss it and break my legs. If the feds don’t balance their budget, they just print more money. Talk about an unfair advantage. And it’s a double standard, because they won’t let us print our own money. Who died and made them boss?

I’m just kidding, of course. If everyone was printing money, we wouldn’t like the inflation, because we wouldn’t be able to print our own money fast enough to keep up. Eventually, it would cost more to print the money than the money was worth, and then everybody loses.

So I guess for now, we’ll have to live with the double standard. Just be glad we don’t get billed for the difference when the government has a deficit. How would you like that? “Dear Joe Taxpayer, Unfortunately, we have gone over our budget, and we need more money. Please send 4 trillion dollars immediately. Sincerely, The IRS.” That would never work. No, just be glad they can fire up the presses when they run out of money. I think giving them 30% of my income is plenty.

Now let’s talk about why the goverment continually goes over their budget… two words: “wel” and “fare”. Come on everybody, the government has so many liberal bleeding heart programs, it can barely afford to fund it’s many military actions around the globe. They can’t be responsible for EVERYTHING. Some things, people are just going to have to do for themselves. So, if you don’t have any money, quit having twenty babies with random men, and get a frickin job. Is that too much to ask? The government has it’s hands full beating up people that want to KILL you. Hello?! Let’s do our part by all working hard to earn money so we can pay our taxes so we can have a strong military so that when terrorists decide they need to blow up our people, we can open a huge can of whoopass on one of their countries.

Go USA!

  9 comments for “Stop Cutting Your Grass & Get A Job

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: monkeyshag Deadbeat dad? I think you’re MY dad!!! Reunited after all these years. Or, once you get out of prison… See you then.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Deadbeat Dad Hey kid… who’s your daddy? Oh, it’s me. I am writing from prison, but don’t worry I will be out around the time you turn 21, and we can go get trashed.

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Welfare Mom’s Kid Hey mister, when I grow up, I’m gonna have a buncha kids of my own, and your stupid butt will have to pay for them. AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I don’t mind if you shoot at me so long as you agree never to vote. (Not that I am really concerned that you might suddenly begin to be a responsible adult)

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Welfare Mom You bastardassed loser constervative. How dare you instintagate that I’m an ignant lazy fool. I only have 7 childrn and each and every one of dem know their daddy. It ain’t no diffrent than the goverment payin farmers to not grow nothin. Quit picking on us before we bust a cap in yo ass. Bitch.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete The same way they afford to buy cigarettes with their food stamps.

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: eustilly What I don’t understand is how the mothers on wellfare can afford to dress their babies in head-to-toe Tommy Hilfiger. “Hmm, feed my family this week or Tommy infant shoes. What should I do?”

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: wilberteets Thanks for doing my surveys! Very interesting…

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: oppsIdiditagain HA HA HA “Native Prairie Grass” my ass.

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