Sociopathic Incredipete

So, tonight is the last night of my “Leading Teams” class. I was actually pleasantly surprised with how much I got out of the class. I was expecting a “touchy-feely” class, but I really learned a lot. I also met some great people. I ended up in the best group…bar none. I also got to know some great people from other groups. All in all, it’s been a positive experience. Not the case of my Project Management class, which has been wrought with boredom.

However, I’m also glad the summer will be starting for me on Thursday. It sucks that UMKC starts so early every semester, but it’s nice when I get out and everyone else still has multiple weeks to go…

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So I’ve come to the realization that I’m a sociopath.

It’s not something I came to overnight. It’s taken many years of history to say it conclusively.

When it comes to throwing myself into relationships with both feet, I’m more than happy to do it. I’ll give till it hurts. I’ll be 100% devoted.

And I can turn it off like a light switch.

I can go from hot to cold in a millisecond. It’s surprised a fair number of people over the years. I don’t think it’s because I’m not genuine. I think in order to hate deeply, you first had to love deeply.

Once the switch is off, it’s off. I can’t turn it back on. Once I close out my emotions towards something or someone, I am incapable of feeling anything further, good or bad.

Almost everyone is capable of detaching themselves emotionally to some extent, but I take it to a cold, scary extreme. I learned a long time ago that sitting and obsessing about what you could have done differently will lead to nothing but ulcers. When the horse is dead, get off.

However, I’m also capable of putting up with a lot more crap than most people ever would. That may be part of my problem, because some people will take advantage of my generosity and long suffering personality. By the time I’ve reached the point of giving up, as the Duke said so wisely, “that account is long overdrawn.”

There is one relationship in my past that I still obsess about, wondering if things could have been different. But in that case, I never hated her. I never just got “fed up” with her. Circumstances caused our paths to part, not necessarily our relationship at its core.

So I can’t say I’m a stone-cold killer, like Wombat, but I definitely go from intense to ice cold in a split second. I’ve had people tell me that I “put up a nice front.” That’s what scares me a little about myself… it’s not a front. I really feel absolutely nothing.

So, maybe I’m a sociopath, maybe I just have some common sense. It’s hard to say for sure.

Incredipete

  15 comments for “Sociopathic Incredipete

  1. April 26, 2005 at 3:19 pm

    Wow. So those are the qualities of a sociopath? I possess most of those traits but I just always thought I was antisocial…… oh…….

  2. Wen
    April 26, 2005 at 3:21 pm

    I put up a nice front too, but I think that has more to do with the bra I’m wearing than anything else.

    I don’t think you’re a sociopath Incredipete. And I’ll say it to the police when they come to my door looking for some “background” on you when the time comes.

    Why isn’t the RSS feed working? I tried to add you to my start page and rss isn’t recognizing the url. Help?

  3. April 26, 2005 at 3:26 pm

    You’re not a sociopath, dahling. Sociopaths cannot relate to other people as feeling entities, they are only aware (but intensely so) of their own feelings or things that directly affect them. What you have is a case of codependency. But then, I think we are all codependent to some extent. If it weren’t for a severe personality disorder, Wombat would have no personality at all. The only thing that worried me in what I just read is your getting off on dead horses …

  4. April 26, 2005 at 3:31 pm

    So…how many bodies are burried in the cellar, incriphsycopath? (just watcht the J.W Gacey film last night…you know…he kinda looks like you.)

  5. April 26, 2005 at 3:35 pm

    Exactly, DK. I can certianly relate to other people as feeling , caring human beings…It’s just that I am quite capable of going on a homicidal rampage as well.

    I like to think of my self as more of a Potential Psychopath rather than a sociopath. There is a sublte difference, you know.

  6. April 26, 2005 at 4:10 pm

    So…so it’s over? You never even called me, Incredipete.

  7. April 26, 2005 at 4:12 pm

    BTW, sociopaths don’t give ’til it hurts. They don’t give at all. They take and take. You’re not a sociopath. You’re a man. I mean that with all due respect. Men are very practical creatures. When it’s over, it’s over. For real men. Now, go grow some hair in your nostrils.

  8. April 26, 2005 at 5:49 pm

    Can do…

  9. April 27, 2005 at 6:24 am

    At least you can recognize when the relationship is going nowhere; it took me a few years and a few bad relationships to realize that I could be the one to walk away if I wanted to.

    So, just how much will you take? 😉

  10. April 27, 2005 at 8:30 am

    More touchy feelly crap!

    But at least I can relate. and you are not a sociopath anymore then I am.

    Probably not the best commparison. but I know where you are coming from.

    (YOUR PENIS!!, get it , “know where your coming from”!!)

    Thank you thank you I’ll be here all week, tip your waitress and enjoy the veal!

  11. April 27, 2005 at 9:46 am

    Just stop this charade and come back to D-land.

  12. April 27, 2005 at 10:58 am

    I’m with Andy. And have I told you how stunningly hot you look today?

  13. April 27, 2005 at 12:04 pm

    D-Land fellates donkeys (yeah, sucks ass) … stay here, I like your even-hotter new look!

  14. April 27, 2005 at 12:52 pm

    I can’t stand one more second of DiarrheaLand. Sign up for notification or use my RSS feed so you’ll know when I update… I’ll still read all of you, of course…

  15. May 10, 2005 at 5:25 am

    testing

Comments are closed.