Oh you are gonna get it today.
Self-control is a wide category. It covers things like:
Anger & Rage
The list goes on and on, but these are some low-hanging fruit so let’s roll.
If you lose your temper and spaz out at your friends and family, not only are you a dick, but you are not allowing the Holy Spirit to live through you, assuming it’s even there in the first place. Of all of the things in this world… of all of the elements of the human condition, an out-of-control temper is the thing I consider to be the worst. It’s the worst example of a lack of self-control because anger and rage can cause so much external harm. Spouses afraid to let their guard down around you, children who fear you instead of looking forward to seeing you, friends who won’t tell you the truth because they fear your reaction.
The surest way to insulate yourself from ever becoming a better person is to lack self-control over your temper. People will not tell the truth to you if they know you’ll freak out. Anyone that does is doing it with the knowledge that they are falling on their own sword in hopes they can help you see the light. Your spouse and children will be the most severe victims because home is where you’ll undoubtedly feel most free to be your dicky self.
Anger and rage is how a weak, pathetic person tries to control others. They think “If I yell at my spouse about going out with friends, then they’ll stay at home with me instead.” For the rager, it’s win-win, because they get to behave however they want and still get to eat their cake, too. At least for a season. Eventually one of two things will happen. The spouse and kids will look for a way out (as soon as the kids are 18 they’ll be gone for good), OR, the spouse and kids will learn the behavior from you and will start dishing it back at you. That will really make the wheels come off.
So what do you do if you have an out-of-control temper? Well, first, talk to God. Second, beg your family and friends to forgive you for being such a selfish, pathetic ass. Third, realize that self-control is a choice. It’s a choice to think before you speak, to consider the other person, and to put duct tape over your mouth if you have to. If you aren’t in control of your emotions, the only person that can change it is you, and you are the only one to blame.
Overeating is another form of lacking self-control. The Bible says that gluttony is a sin. Where is that line? It’s actually very simple (and this is coming from someone that could afford to lose a few pounds). If food is more important to you than God, you are definitely screwed up. When food stops being about nourishment and starts becoming comfort, you’ve crossed the line.
Drunkenness is also a way people exhibit their lack of self-control. The Bible never says drinking is wrong. Jesus enjoyed some wine now and then himself. But Jesus never got wasted and acted like an idiot. You shouldn’t either. If you need to be wasted to have a good time, then there is most definitely something wrong with both your brain and your relationship with God.
Jealousy. Man this one will really cause problems. Relationships are nothing without trust. And most relationships are better off if the world doesn’t revolve around them. If you find yourself constantly suspicious and jealous of your wife or girlfriend, one of two things are true. She lacks character to the point that you SHOULDN’T trust her, or YOU lack character in the sense that you are an insecure douchebag. If she is a known whore, then you probably shouldn’t be with her. If she’s NOT, then you should stop being an insecure douchebag. It’s really that simple.
Lastly, I’ll talk about lust. If a woman’s boob shows up in a movie you’re watching, do you lose control of your thoughts? Do you fixate on that like a 12 year old with the Sears catalog? Are you over the age of 18 and still think that way? See a psychologist if so! Sheesh. But let’s be real. All guys notice when a hottie comes into the room. We’re drawn to them like moths to a flame. Part of that is just biological – we instinctively look for a mate that looks fertile and healthy. That part we truly can’t control, and we shouldn’t. God made us that way, biologically, on purpose. But if you see a hottie walk into the room and your first thought is “man, I’ve GOT to get her naked” then you’re probably out of control.
Control yourself. You’re the only one that can.