Sales People Suck

I hate sales people.

Not the kind who answer the phone when I call and take my order.

I hate sales people who cold call me and come to my office uninvited. I get 5-15 calls a day. They always know my name and title. They’ve done their homework. They want to talk with me about how they can save me money. It’s always the same, uncreative, annoying script.

The problem is, I’m not particularly inspired to purchase things from people who are basically stalking me. I’m not even sure how they get my name, but they do. Many of them call weekly even though I never take their call. Talk about persistence (and stupidity).

The thing that’s astonishing to me is that this approach must work. If it didn’t, they wouldn’t do it. There must be enough mush-minded people out there that these stalker sales people are able to make a living. I imagine the conversation must go a bit like this:

Sales Weasel: “Hi, I’m from the Toner Corporation of America, and I’d like to talk to you about how I can save you money.”
Mush-Brain: “Wow, saving money is really a good thing. Tell me more.”
Sales Weasel: “The way it works is that we have you sign a 5 year contract to provide toner for your copier. We use aftermarket parts and unapproved toner in our refills, so naturally they are much cheaper than the toner you get from the manufacturer already as part of your service contract.
Mush-Brain: “Ok, so I can just cancel my service contract and buy inferior toner from you?! That’s AWESOME!”
Sales Weasel: “Absolutely. You don’t need a service contract anyways…. copiers never break down.”
Mush-Brain: “That is SO true. So when can you come in and bring the contract?”
Sales Weasel: “Actually I’m looking at you through your office window RIGHT NOW!”
Mush-Brain: “Such amazing service. Come on in!”

See, I do things a bit differently here. When I need something, I look up local companies and call them. I compare the pricing and pick the best one. Weird, eh?

It’s especially bad when these people COME to my office and ask to meet. I’ve instructed the receptionist that I’m NEVER available for a cold call. Sometimes I’ll be standing there when they come in and ask for a meeting, and I’ll tell them “actually I’m really busy today.” Then I tell them I’ll have to look at my calendar… which I never do.

It’s actually quite satisfying to have someone drive all the way to my office and be so blatantly blown off.

Sales people must love being rejected.

  1 comment for “Sales People Suck

  1. March 4, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Sales people are worse than scientologists (and that’s really saying something coming from me). I HATE THEM. The toner people make me laugh, because they always say, “But we can save you so much money.” “But we’re happy with the toner supplier we have.” “You don’t want to save money?” “NO.” And then they get all huffy.

    The thing I don’t get is that people still fall for the toner scams, even though they’ve been going on forever. But then, stupid people are born every day.

    I guess I should be happy I have the job I have, and don’t have to do crappy phone sales.

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