Have you ever noticed that sales people will answer your question with a straight face even if they have no idea what you’re talking about?
This phenomenon is so common I now assume the sales weasel is just telling me what I want to hear.
I was filling out a corporate credit application and asked sales weasel who needed to sign it. He said “you can just sign it.” Partly, he may have assumed that was sufficient given my title at the company. However, I think the main reason he said it was I was the only person standing right there at the time, and it meant instant gratification for him.
It turns out this thing actually has to be signed by all of the corporate officers, the Pope, Bullwinkle the moose, and all of the deceased members of The Who.
Theoretically this sales weasel sells thousands of his products every year, and they aren’t the type of thing people pay cash for. So I’m guessing he’s seen at least… 200 of these applications in the past month. He MUST have known that the form required Bullwinkle’s signature (I didn’t even know a moose could hold a pen, but whatever).
But this happens all the time. “I need a product that can ________” Whatever you put in that blank, the sales weasel will tell you his product can do it. I used to think that sales weasels were just morons who’d never used the product, but now I’m quite sure they are weasels trying to scam customers.
When I bought my water heater, I told the sales guy I needed a water heater that could supply two showers, the washing machine, and the dishwasher simultaneously for 4 straight hours. I like long showers and so does Jenna. Don’t judge me… it’s my house and my money, and I’ll spend it on a monster water heater if I want.
The sales weasel promptly showed me three options that would do the trick. They were all uber-expensive, but I figured a once-every-10-year purchase was worth the money. However, not trusting the sales weasel, I met the actual installation guys at the door.
“I need my water heater to supply two showers, the washing machine, and the dishwasher simultaneously for 4 straight hours.” They both looked at each other, and then at the water heater they’d brought.
“Well sir, this isn’t going to do the trick.”
So I showed him the quote with the three options from the sales weasel.
“Ummm, sir, none of those water heaters will do what you need.”
So they proceeded to get their catalog out of the truck and pointed to the unit I needed. It was $400 LESS than the three options the sales weasel had presented.
Either the sales weasel didn’t know what the heck he was talking about (probable), or he was trying to scam me (also probable).
Never trust a sales person to tell the truth.