I’m not afraid of most people. I’m not intimidated by most people. That happens when you reach the point in your life when you finally realize that you don’t give a crap if anyone likes you or not. If they choose not to, so be it.
It’s very liberating to not care what people think of you. You should try it, if you haven’t already. It may not get you a very long list of friends, but the short list of friends you DO have will be genuine.
But that’s not really what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the people who would probably be better for society if they were relocated to Canada. Let’s get down to my list:
1. People who frantically and angrily gesture during conversations… on the phone. Ok there, lady, I assure you, the person you’re yelling at can’t see your gestures. The only people who CAN see you gestures are the people who aren’t hearing the conversation. That means you look like a complete nutjob who has finally let your cheese slip off your cracker. It’s never necessary to gesture during a phone call, and if you can’t control your gesturing, that’s even scarier!
2. People who clutch the steering wheel with both hands and lean forward so their are peering out right over the wheel with a terrified expression on their face. Generally these are older people, but I recently passed a woman on the highway doing about 40 MPH and she was younger… probably mid 20’s. If you are scared to drive, you SHOULDN’T EFFING DRIVE! You are endangering everyone else on the road with your “extra cautious” driving. People are having to swerve to avoid running into the back of you, because it’s generally accepted practice that when we’re on the highway, WE GO FAST! So, if you panic behind the wheel, please do us a favor and ride the bus. The short one.
3. People who drink a gallon of booze while staying up all night, who can hop out of bed in the morning like nothing ever happened… usually feeling better than I do. I’m not sure how to bring this up, but that’s not normal. I’m not a scientist, but I think that means you’re an alcoholic and you’d better get someone to put you on the transplant list ASAP. I may be a total sissy, but if I drink A beer, I will have a hangover. I like to believe that’s my body’s way of telling me “Dude… you are gonna need your liver when you get older… please stop.” I don’t judge people who drink… Lord knows I used to. But it always makes me wonder when someone has a really high tolerance.
That concludes part one of “People Who Scare Me.” Thanks for stopping by.