Pay Up, Suckers

I worked on my taxes this year, and it looks like the stinking Feds are going to take $800 in addition to the $10,000 they already took. That seems a bit evil. What do I get for all of my tax dollars? I get to pay for other people’s public education, other people’s welfare, other people’s crappy art, other people’s civil wars… A pretty good chunk of my federal taxes are going towards those things. The only purpose I would gladly help pay for are for the Interstate highway system, and the military. And of course, the military should not be policing the world. They are there to kill people that attack us. That’s it.

So the real question is, do I find a way to cheat on my taxes and risk getting on the IRS’ bad side, or do I shut up and take it like I always do.

The answer of course, is “bend over.” The IRS has to many minions, to much of a paper trail. There’s no good way to cheat them.

So then I got to thinking… Our founders didn’t really leave any allowance for a federal income tax anywhere in the Constitution. So how can they get away with it?

The answer is, of course… Because they have B-2’s, Aircraft Carriers, and Nukes. Which I helped pay for. I furnish the means by which I suffer.

So when you write that check this year, remember that they’re going to use the money to build a prison to put you in if you ever think about not writing a check in the future. It’s like buying protection from the mob… “Give us 10,000 bucks, or we cannot guarantee your safety.”


I must go now and get my airway secured before the swelling cuts off my breathing…

  10 comments for “Pay Up, Suckers

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I wish I could figure out how to have $0 withheld, invest the money, and then pocket the interest after I pay in April.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: warcrygirl HA! I’m so dumb I can’t spell it! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am
  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: warcrygirl I so agree with you on that one, Incredipete. Hubby was doing that until I informed him he was giving the government an interest free loan and HEY! wouldn’t it be great to have that money RIGHT NOW???

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Seriously, you all have the best ideas sometimes. I am going to get a mail order bride, make some babies, and start the church of Incredipete. Of course, the idea of moving tax day to Nov. 2nd is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve ever heard.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andy I’m with you 100% Incredipete. I would also like Tax Day to be moved to Nov 1, the day before elections. You could also start “The Church of Incredipete” and become a tax free insitution.

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: conservativeconspirator Have you ever asked someone “How much did you pay in taxes last year?” and they answered “I didn’t pay anything I got some back.” These stupid people should have their voting rights revoked.

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss Find a mail order bride and make dependents like everyone else. 🙂

  9. May 12, 2005 at 2:26 pm

    8 – you

  10. May 12, 2005 at 2:26 pm

    15 – my

Comments are closed.