Our New, Willing Slaves

Nick, this post is for you!


I used to think that people in manual labor and tedious repetitive jobs were just unlucky. I thought they simply came from tough circumstances or didn’t have a good example to follow. I assumed they all had natural IQ that was simply hidden behind their ignorant, grunting exteriors.

Then I talked to some of them.

That’s when I realized that laborers are morons. Not self-selected morons… actual bona fide natural morons with no intellect. Most are lucky to be able to string together a noun and a verb. They communicate through primal grunts and gestures. This works fine for them, because the most difficult things they ever need to convey are “put that heavy thing on top of that other heavy thing” and “ouch, my arm just got severed by that machine.”

Am I saying that all people who are laborers are morons? Yes.

I was once walking to class at UMKC and there were some laborers holding picket signs because they thought they were being treated unfairly. They told me the evil management wouldn’t cave to their demands, and that it wasn’t right. I told them I was on my way to a management class to learn how to keep “hard workin'” people (monkeys) down. And when I say “monkeys” I’m talking about stupid people, not black people (race baiting scum).

Just being stupid does not qualify you for manual labor. Ambitious morons typically have a career in politics in Chicago.

To be a laborer, you also have to not care about your future. You have to have no ambition. You have to be content with a life that includes starting work at 6:00 AM and lifting heavy stuff all day. You have to be content with standing outside when it’s 110 degrees and when it’s 0. You have to be content with the fact that the highest level you can ever achieve is bulldozer operator. You have to be content knowing you could be replaced by a donkey, and that the donkey could actually do a better job because it can lift more.

I don’t believe lack of ambition is natural. From the dawn of time, man (yes, I meant to exclude women) has been trying to ever improve his circumstances. Not these guys. They think “going to college and desk jobs are for wussies.” They think that “managers never have a clue what they’re doing.” They think women would rather be with a musclebound doofus than with a professional with a nice house and a Ferrari.

And they would be wrong.

Personally, I don’t mind being called a wuss for sitting INDOORS all day with air conditioning, Internet, and an administrative assistant. I definitely don’t mind being called clueless, so long as I make several times what they make.

In a sense, laborers are the slaves of the 21st century. The difference with these slaves is that they chose the life for themselves. They are content to take the scraps from the wealthy people financing their projects. Well, maybe not content… they’ll claim it isn’t fair that they don’t have a big house, but content enough not to do anything about it. The worst threat they can make is that they’ll walk off the job. Fortunately, in America, the project financier can simply replace these idiots with other idiots or with robots (or donkeys).

But let’s be honest. Without these self-selected slaves, where would we be as a society? We’d have to import labor from other countries to build our houses, buildings, and highways. And I don’t mean Mexicans. In order for society to be good for the winners, there have to be some losers cleaning the toilets and lifting stuff. I recently read a very brilliant quote by James Delingpole about that… “It’s just not possible for everyone and everything to be excellent. If you have winners there are going to be losers. In order for something to be excellent, something else has to be less excellent. Otherwise, the very concept of excellence is utterly meaningless.”

Is it fair that we have an entire class of self-selected slaves? I say 100%. Sure, they will always complain about unfairness. It will sound something like this: “he have nice house. me want nice house. life not fair.”

Normally when I insult a large group of people on my blog, I write a “I’m just kidding” (even though I’m not) disclaimer so they won’t hunt me down and kill me. However, in this case I’m safe, because laborers are illiterate.

  6 comments for “Our New, Willing Slaves

  1. March 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Fortunately, they also think computers are high-falutin’ and the work of the devil so you’re safe.

  2. MR. Carley
    March 1, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    I do know some smart folks who decided to go down the road of manual labor, some of the reasons for this were some kind of event derailing their plans for college or some other sort of happening. I always expected these people to bounce back and take the bull by the horns and get themselves out of the dead end work that is labor. Luckily for me this never occurred and I was able to learn from their awful examples.

    There are a lot of reasons these peoples heads turn to mush, I think it does start with lack of ambition. I had one of my friends tell me “I just couldn’t sit behind a desk all day”, currently he is working in a freezer moving boxes at 3am in the morning for 13 bucks and hour. Even if they don’t plan on staying at the job the attitudes of the other workers are catchy and they feed on each other gripes and despair.

  3. Meg
    March 1, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Okay, so I get that you have issues with the idea of manual labor as a profession. But in your opening statement you also included those of us who work tedious, repetitive jobs and then failed to include us in the over all rant. So really, Incredipete, how do you feel about those of us who actually work from the bottom of the ladder to get to the top and do that by working at tedious, repetitive jobs in the begining? People like that administrative assistant you have, or people like me, who started over and left it all behind to make it better for herself and her kids. Enlighten me.

  4. March 2, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Allow me.
    Try to focus on the message. People who are CONTENT with the norm, the tedious, the minimum are the point.
    Working from the bottom is great.
    STAYING at the bottom is not.

    Reading is great.
    Comprehension is fricken GOLDEN. Good luck with your climb.

  5. March 2, 2009 at 9:58 am

    LoL. I was going to say those with ambition still have to start somewhere… 🙂

  6. March 2, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Forgot to mention – the administrative assistant at our office is working on finishing her Master’s degree. So yes, she is doing a tedious entry level job, but no, she won’t be staying there for long.

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