Open Letter to Illegal “Immigrants”

(Not that any of them can read English)

Dear Jorge,

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for all that you do for America. From driving up healthcare and education costs, to protesting America IN FREAKING AMERICA, to sending massive amounts of untaxed money to Mexico which props up their phoney-baloney economy while draining ours… without you, America couldn’t possibly be what it is today.

No, without you, America would have money to spend on useful things, like education and healthcare for taxpaying American citizens. Without you, Mexico would have to fix some of its major problems rather than counting on America taking up all of the slack for their corrupt, pathetic excuse for a government. They make American government look like saints.

Without you, we’d have to put welfare recipients to work picking fruit (thanks to Michael Savage for that great idea), which is completely unfair. We’d much rather pay able-bodied welfare recipients to sit around and do nothing like the ignorant slobs they are.

Without you, Jorge, we’d be able to teach just one language to our children instead of two. Imagine how awful it would be if all the people in America could communicate with each other without the LEGAL residents having to learn a second language.

And of course, without you, we would only have to worry about liberal democrats whining about wanting something for nothing. Thank god we have you so the liberals don’t have to take all of the flack for being lazy no-good kerrs.

Without your complete distaste for learning American culture and language, we might have an easier time accepting your worthless illegal butt, however we’re glad you’re here. Just make sure you keep that drug pipeline going so we can make sure the politicians continue to be too stoned to do anything about you.



  3 comments for “Open Letter to Illegal “Immigrants”

  1. May 25, 2006 at 6:47 am

    I hear the illegal immigrants want “more fair” immigration practices. I agree. So, let’s make sure that everybody who wants to live/work here can (a) speak fluent English BEFORE they arrive; (b) can pass high-school-level educational tests; (c) pay taxes; (d) pay at the very least a reasonable portion towards their own health insurance premiums. What, not fair? why not, WE have to do all of the above!!!

  2. May 25, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    Amen, sister Kurves!

  3. May 25, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Fucking Canadians! Always coming down here and trying to force that French shit on us! Well FUCK THAT!! I would rather speak Spanglish then fucking french. And if the Welfare whores are picking fruit, what the hell are the criminals doing…I mean besides working with me waiting to stalk their next victim……

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