One Punishment Fits All

In a rare move, I am adding my second entry in the same day. I was discussing my views on crime and punishment with “Andrea” and decided I needed to share them with the world.

First of all, I would like to propose two possible solutions to our rampant crime in America. The first, and probably the simplest, is my “One Punishment Fits All” system. Under this system, all crimes would have the same punishment: Death. How many people do you think would continue to not use their blinker to change lanes if they knew they would be executed if caught? I think that for the first couple of months, there would be a “break-in” period where people got used to the idea. During the initial break-in, there would be massive amounts of executions, which of course would be televised, or played over the Web. People watching the news would hear the statistics, “Today, 564 traffic law violators were executed by lethal injection…” I guarantee, it wouldn’t take long for people to get the idea.

So, if you kill someone, you die. If you molest someone, you die. If you rob someone, you die. If you cross the street outside of the crosswalk or against the light, you die. It’s brilliantly simple, and I think it deserves a serious look.

Now I know that some will oppose my idea for being to “cruel” or “unusual.” But what I say is, if we do it all the time, then it’s “Usual.” It’s just a matter of doing it for a while. As far as cruel goes, yes, it’s cruel to kill someone… it’s also cruel to break the law, and therefore it’s justified.

I have a second alternative, however it presents some difficulties. Under this system, the punishment would be whatever you did, or closely related to what you did. Let me give some examples to help clarify. If you shoot someone, we shoot you. If you stab someone 57 times with a butter knife, we stab you 57 times with a butter knife. If you skin someone alive and eat their liver… you get the idea. If you burn down someone’s house, we burn yours down. If you drive drunk and hurt or maim someone, your family will be put in a car, and a radio-controlled SUV will be smashed into the side of it. Obviously this will require some creativity. For instance, what do we do with sex offenders? We can’t do to them what they did, because they might like it. I think that public removal of the offending body parts would be a good option, but I’m open to anyone’s suggestions.

A difficulty with this system, is that you have to find someone willing to do all of those things to the criminals. I have a feeling that the victims or the victim’s family members would be a good place to start.

All in all, I think that the “One Punishment Fits All” system is much more viable, and easier to understand.

Anyone who disagrees with me had better have a better, cheaper, fairer option. Otherwise, I don’t want to hear it.

  10 comments for “One Punishment Fits All

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I think that goes without saying…

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: “Lynne” …and big boobs.

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete “Andrea” – SHUT UP! And besides, I’d date a girl with no skin or liver if she had a good personality.

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: “Andrea” “Lynne” If you had been killed at 14 the poor skin and liver victom sure would have been greatful…I mean really how do you think they feel now walking around with no skin. And they sure can’t have a drink with any liqour in it. I bet they have more trouble getting a date than Incredipete. Hey, do you remember their name, maybe we could set him up. By the way, I think the punishment is READING the journal. …I love you Incredipete

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete However, I would have missed you if you’d been dead at 14. Actually, I wouldn’t have missed you because I didn’t meet you till you were 29. But whatever. Even if we implemented the system today, I’m sure you would be executed by sundown.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete “Lynne,” you can kiss my lily white grits. XoXo

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: “Lynne” If your first idea was implemented, I would be dead at the early age of 14. As for the second…I’m afraid I would miss my skin and liver. I am concerned that your punishment systems have been created out of some twisted world view that we should seek justice for the victim when all along they clearly had it coming. But I digress. What I really want to know is if there is some sort of punishment for writing an asinine journal entry…

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I don’t think you can throw out an entire system because of a few slip-ups. I like the idea of only allowing two lawyers per state. Time for a constitutional amendment.

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Cynthia Your first idea would in fact be 100% effective but my problem with it is the possiblity of exculpatory evidence comming to light after someone has been executed. It would be tragic if an innocent person lost their life after a conviction for theft (for failure to return a library book) only to find out later that it was a clerical error. Your second idea I find to be without fault. As for implementation, we need only to change the constitution to allow only two lawyers per state as we do now for senators.

  10. BJD
    April 24, 2005 at 12:40 pm

    Sounds a little like “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” on your second option. The current arbritrary system certainly isn’t getting the job done. I think you’ve got something here.

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