Number Rock My World

I really think that numbers are cool. Numbers will do whatever you tell them, and if you find a way to break that rule, there are “imaginary numbers” to pick up the slack. I never knew I had a love for numbers until I took Calculus in college.

To give a complete idea of what I mean, let me give you a brief history of my mathematical endeavors:

Elementary School: Learned about addition and subtraction. Did flashcards with Angie, the only girl that had boobs in 5th grade. Didn’t learn much math because of the distraction.

Junior High: Took introductory Algebra, which consisted of making witty and brilliant remarks in hopes of gaining the attention of the lovely Rhi, who was perfect. Didn’t learn much because I was too busy creating witty remarks.

Senior High: Started with Geometry and did proofs for the first time. This consisted of finding a book containing proofs, and then copying them onto my homework. During test, I would take my test up to the teacher, who would give me the answers because he was a sucker. Didn’t learn much because I and my teacher were lazy.

Sophomore year I took Algebra II, which is a complete blank because I spent the entire time writing chapters of what would become the first draft of “It’s more fun to be like Incredipete.” Didn’t learn much because multi-tasking is not a strong suit.

Junior year I took Physics and Trigonometry. I spent my time in Physics creating perpetual motion bombs that would explode if you touched them. I didn’t learn much because I was more into the hands-on approach. Trig on the other hand, was the first class where I paid attention, but I still didn’t learn much because I didn’t have any foundation. (i.e. I couldn’t add and subtract thanks to Angie’s boobs)

My senior year, I took an intro to Calculus, which consisted of me leaving class to work on the yearbook. I never actually attended the class, so I don’t know how I got an A, but I did. Needless to say, I didn’t learn much Calculus in yearbook class.

So then I went off to the local Junior college, and signed up for College Algebra. According to the entrance exam, I was smart enough to skip the beginner and intermediate steps and go directly into the main course. Of course, the way I did well on the entrance exam was by making bubble-patterns with all of the dots on the scantron sheet. Who knew?!

So I signed up for the 8 AM once a week College Algebra class, which I promptly slept through every week. I went only for the first test, which I received a 23%, and then dropped the class. The next semester I took it again, this time 5 days a week. I escaped with a D.

Whew, that was enough math for an Associate’s Degree. Unfortunately, I wanted to get a business degree, which is almost entirely statistics. The bad news was, in order to not be kicked out of the program, I had to maintain a 3.0 (B average) on all my classes.

So, naturally, I signed up for Calculus my first semester at the University of Missouri. I spent every day in the teacher’s office trying to learn Algebra so I could do the Calculus. It was hellish, but I managed a B+ in the class. It was the first time I ever learned something in a math class.

After that, I progressed to Accounting, which as luck would have it is way more confusing than addition and subtraction, which is what I expected. They have all sorts of arcane and stupid things like “T-accounts” and “ledgers.” Like I care!

Then I took statistics with an Indian professor, who always said “If you mess up on the test, I will slaughter you!” He wasn’t kidding. He would take off points in blocks of 25. It doesn’t take long to get a zero at that rate. But I worked hard, and once again, managed a B. Then I went nuts. I took 3 more stats classes, and fell in love. I started doing probabilistic modeling, and Monte Carlo simulations, and I loved it. I started writing my own code to do analysis because I couldn’t find software that did what I wanted.

I became a HUGE nerd. Now I do analysis for fun, and sometimes even get paid. Nothing is more gratifying than taking a huge chunk of data and extracting something useful. It rocks my world!

I only bring it up, because I spent most of the holiday weekend working on a big data analysis project, for money! I didn’t party for the Fourth, but I did increase my available funds.

  38 comments for “Number Rock My World

  1. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT Well whomever they are(Ms.Right & Jennyanydots)… I think I’d fork over the $49.95 pay-per-view fee, to see the two of em oil up for some good old fashioned hot oil wrestling… oh wait can I say that? oh well too late… such is Love, life, lust and loathing. Besides, what’s a good soap opera weblong digest without the gratuitous sex scene.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete thea, Ms. Right is a girl I used to date that now lives in Seattle. Jennyanydots is a girl that works at the same place as me. Some guy from work posted as Ms. Right on Wendy’s site earlier, at least I think so…

  3. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …i’m like the Anti-Olsen: An Old, fat, black, poor, male, non-twin. If we were anymore opposites…one of us would have to be invisible… and I think one of them is trying to go that route…

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea HRT: Never would I say your name and either Olsen girl in the same sentence.

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea Incredipete, how is it that Jennyanydots and Ms. Right were fighting over you so profusely if one of them is an asshole from work? Did you tell him the frying pan story where she bashed you? He knows a little too much about your personal life. He should be flogged repeatedly. Let me know doll and I’ll smack his ass for you.

  6. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …I’m not cocky…I’m just great, there’s a difference, a slight difference but a difference. Kinda like the difference between Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen… See Mary-Kate does Coke, Ashley only does heroin. But then if you lived the tragic wretched lives they live then you’d be forced to turn to a life of crime too…

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete At the risk of getting myself in deep doodoo with Jennyanydots, I will avoid any specific anatomical references to her, but I will say that you would definitely not be dissapointed.

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea You’re a good man HRT.

  9. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT So I tried to respond to what you just posted Incredipetey… but it’s impossible… well it’s impossible to do without sounding like a 19 year old Frat boy… And seeing as I’m almost old enough to be that 19 year old Frat-boy’s Dad… I refrain from the comment that I was actually fomenting

  10. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete How does 36D (granted, silicone, but who cares, really?) sound? Maybe we can revive the old cat fight and get Ms. Right to wrestle Jennyanydots. Now THAT would be worth seeing!

  11. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …oh and the rumor is that “Ms.Right” is quite boobalicious… so being the “typical-flaming-heterosexual-male” that I am… I’m all kinds of down with that… call it naked twister, female mud wrestling, oatmeal wrestling, greco-roman wrestling (in the traditional naked manner) jello wrestling, jello-shots, body-shots, or just a good old fashioned flashing… old men like me need that kind of excitement…

  12. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …oh… and all this time I thought “cat” was short for “pussy…” um pussycat yeah that’s it…

  13. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy That’s right when you do indeed turn 29 (and act 29), you can have whatever you want. Sorry tard, I don’t have a cat.

  14. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea Man, you just don’t fucking quit do you? I thought I’d give it a shot yesterday, but what the fuck is your deal? I have been honest and had fun on here until you showed up. Ignoring your ignorant ass would be the adult thing to do, but it seems you’d just find another spot to prick. By the way at 29, I’ll drink whatever the fuck I choose. Where the fuck did you come from? How about you go back to the quiet pschosis of a mental cave you’ve been festering in and go pet your cat.

  15. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Hmmm….Naked Twister with Thea and Onehotmama18. That should be puke-inducing. By the way, beer is for grown-ups.

  16. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Dying Unctuous Salty Tongues Yo! Dude, is that you D? The Horny Excluded Ass? It was made blatantly obvious that it’s someone I know with a decent sense of humor.

  17. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Thea Golly, I feel so much more pristine in CAPS, ps … good morning my dearest confindant HRT.

  18. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Thea Good morning all! (Minus the smear of a person which I will refuse to acknowledge with any useful banter) Incredipete: How on earth did you manage to make it to college between all those boobs and bombs? I am very proud of you. Hey hot mamma: I’ll bring the cold beer sister, it’s more fun with a buzz, that way when we all come toppling down noone will worry about bruises until the day after!

  19. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Onehotmama18 Naked Twister at my place! Everybody’s invited! (Except Wendy.)

  20. Dr.
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Dr. Monkeyshag OOh baby! Ms. Right’s gonna get naked! Trust me, you’ll like it… I looked up her hospital gown. 😉

  21. Ms.
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Ms. Right Naked wrestling? Where do I sign up?

  22. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HandyPandy I’m for it. Naked jello wrestling would be a great topic for Incredipete’s first webcast. (That’s assuming that either chick is un-gross enough that we’d want to see her naked)

  23. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT You kids and your endless tirades… If I were 3 years younger and a whole lot more spry I’d jump right in. But seeing as I’m not. I think I’ll just perview the cat-fights from a safe operating distance.

  24. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Thanks for your concern Petie. But do not worry about me. I don’t sweat these things, I just handle them and am done!

  25. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete So young, so angry. You all need to invest in some Zoloft before you have a stroke.

  26. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Someone should point out to I’m Gutless that she is making a tremendous mistake. It really is not wise to go after the smartest M-Effer around. I am sure that like me, BJizzle just shat his pants becasue some low life who had to beg for a web site has thrown out a mean old threat. NOT!! All I can say is if you are in any way feeling froggy………….(you know the rest.) Shame on you Incredipete for setting this bung hole up like that! Wait until your Mother finds out young man!

  27. I'm
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: I’m Shameless You took so long getting me going that I started to lose interest for a moment. You can bet that there will be something for you to nibble on this evening. Wendy & BJizzle, consider this your only warning. YOUR ASSES ARE MINE!!!!

  28. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Well, my fine feathered friends, I actually DID sponsor old “Shameless” but she has not yet seemed to notice. I should have known it was a dead end. I’ve dated high-maintenance women, and there’s no future in it.

  29. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Although it is hard to admit, I must say that with each passing entry, I find myself ebbing toward a kind liking for HRT. Call me crazy, and many have, but dude can and has been humorous. AS for you Incredipete, I am trying, really trying not to crucify you again. I have figured it out though. It is not so much you as it is the company you keep! Specifically, thea (if she ain’t gonna capitalize the “T” then neither am I). Honestly, I do not get it. You must realize that there comes a time in every man’s life when he must try to better himself. We are only as cool as our coolest friend. I think you know where you need to start.

  30. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Jackie I can’t believe I read the whole thing. So effing boring. Please forgive, from now on I think I will stick to the comments page. I figure you won’t really care as long as people are on your site.

  31. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Roger Hi Incredipete, hope you had a good fourth of july. You really are beginning to worry me now. I hated math at school, but still ended up working for an accountant. But you are really out there on the number uber-nerd stakes. I may have to point my brother this way just to find out what half of that was that you wrote about. He’s a number man too! See ya.

  32. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …course my theory is that “The Horny Excluded Ass” is code for “Incredipete, I think you’re hot, and THE way that you write makes me HORNY even when you make me feel EXCLUDED from your conversations by using big words. Still I bet you have a righteous ASS. I’ll be dreaming of you always…Thea” But then I could be reading into it a bit too much…

  33. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete OH!!! I GET IT. T. H. E. A.

  34. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT Oh that Thea… she sure is a TRICKY one… If she was hot and I was single… just kidding 😀

  35. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT Numbers and words. Really ALL of life comes down to those two things. There is NOTHING in this life that can’t be simplified down to one or the other or both of those camps. Numbers make the world go round and well, some of us believe that in the beginning WAS the WORD and that nothing that was created was created without the WORD. So that pretty much takes care of everything else.

  36. The
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: The Horny Excluded Ass In the last group of posting you all used so many big words. Has anyone heard of the word acronym?

  37. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Thanks, and a big shout out to HRT for being the first to post!

  38. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT …and so it starts anew, afresh… this delicate dance we call… RANDOM MUSINGS BY MALICIOUS POSERS!!!!!!!!

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