Narcissism Generation

Narcissism runs amok in our society today. Many factors went into this phenomenon. For example, parents buy their kids whatever they want, bail them out when they get in trouble, etc. And if their parents don’t do it, someone else usually does.

The problem with narcissism is that by definition, people don’t know that they are one.

To remedy the situation, I have a simple quiz that will tell you whether or not you are a narcissist. I’m not sure how that will help anything though, since by definition, you think you are better than everyone else and don’t need to change.


1. Have you, in the past 6 months, done something nice for someone without them going first and without expecting reciprocation?

2. On average, how many times per month do you do what someone else wants to do rather than what you want to do?

3. It’s the middle of the night and you want to talk to someone. Do you:
A) Look at the time and realize your friends are probably asleep, and decide to wait till the morning
B) Look at the clock and realize your friends are probably asleep, and you call them anyhow
C) Call them, because by Jove if you’re awake, certainly everyone else on Earth is as well

4. When people ask you to help them with something unpleasant, do you help them?

5. When people ask you to do something fun with them, do you agree?

6. Do you count on another person to take care of you? If yes, do you do anything for that person in return?

7. Your two girlfriends want to go to see a movie, but you want to go to the bar. Democracy rules, or all three of you go to the bar?

8. When you go along somewhere you don’t want to go, do you complain the entire time?

9. How many genuine “thank you’s” have you received this year? (written or spoken)

10. It’s more blessed to:
A) Give
B) Receive

Ok, now that you’ve filled out the quiz, let’s calculate the result. Give yourself points based on the following:

1) 3 points for yes, 0 points for no
2) 10 points for 0, 5 points for 1-5, and 0 points for 6 or more
3) 0 points for A, 2 points for B, 4 points for C
4) 0 points for yes, 5 points for no
5) First, give yourself 1 point for no and 5 points for yes. Now divide that number by the score from question 4
6) Part a, 5 points for yes, 0 for no. Part b, 0 points for yes, 10 points for no
7) Go to the bar, 10 points. Democracy rules, 0 points
8 ) 1 point for yes, 0 for no
9) 0 – 10 points, 1 – 5 points, 3 – 0 points
10) 0 points for A, 5 points for B

Add your points and use the following scale to determine your level of narcissism.

0 to 10 – You’re a giver
11 to 20 – You’re pretty generous
21 to 30 – People know they can count on you if they ask, but you don’t go out of your way to be generous
31 to 50 – Your head is firmly planted in your hiney
51 to 60 – People resent how selfish you are
60 or higher – You’re a giant asshole and anyone who remains your friend more than 2 weeks is a saint, and probably a giver

The test isn’t really biased. If it was, I’d have gotten a 0. I actually got an 11. So all these years I’ve said I was a giver I was mistaken. But I’m pretty generous.