It’s probably time for a real entry.
I wonder about the government’s ability to find it’s butt with both hands. I doubt their ability to dump sand out of a shoe if the instructions are written on the bottom.
Thus, I find it mildly disturbing to listen to the stories of government stockpiles of the plague. I understand that samples are needed in order to make vaccines.
However, I also know that this is the same government that couldn’t figure out how to successfully bump off a third world dictator.
Do I want government researchers and such keeping deadly viruses in their refrigerator? No.
When it comes to security, the government is definitely not who I would call. Maybe if they had ADT or something. But if it’s anything like when I was on my company’s “call list” for alarms, the people that ADT attempts to contact will turn off their ringer and pretend they never heard it.
So we’re left in a quandry. We don’t want the government (or guv-mint, as my old Econ professor used to say) stockpiling viruses, but we probably shouldn’t destroy the only method we have for creating a vaccine, since inevitably a rogue nation has been stealing from our unguarded stockpile for years.
Not to be baffled by little problems like bio-warfare, I have come up with a solution.
We will let State Farm Insurance company take charge of storing virus samples.
What group of people is more anal retentive, bureaucratic, annoying, and downright stingy than them? I submit that these people are the best suited to the task.
If you don’t believe me, try wrecking your car and try to get a check. You’ll be lucky if you can get an appraiser to visit spit on you, let alone look at your car. If you’re lucky enough to actually meet an appraiser, you can be sure that you will not receive a check large enough to pay for the damage.
You can’t argue with efficiency like that. It’s a company that takes in money each month, and then well, they just keep it. Forever.
We have the added benefit that insurance agents are the last people on earth that want an epidemic. Epidemics are bound to cost money. Think of all the Ebola-spattered steering wheels that would have to be replaced.
If we can’t get control taken away from the government, I think that the IRS should take possession of the virus samples. The IRS is another entity that is excellent at “retaining” things that belong to other people.
I need a fricking nap.