Michael Jackson Gets Off

Go VOTE for me!

I guess I’ve probably milked as many comments out of that super-long previous entry. Time to update.

Ok, as you might guess, I don’t really have anything on my mind at all except for Philly, and the contents therein. However, I must press on, as you all are paying customers and demand to be fed fresh material on a regular basis.

Oh wait. You all don’t pay. Never mind then.

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Honestly, let’s talk about Michael Jackson getting off. And I mean that in the legal sense. Well, actually it’s true however you take it. Whatever. I’m fricking tired and I don’t have time to explain.

What an amazing country we live in, first of all, where anyone can grow up to be a rich pedophile with no nose. Imagine a world in which you couldn’t be so filthy rich that you couldn’t wake up one day and say “You know what, I’m sick and tired of this damned nose… cut it off, doc.” Perhaps Michael thinks that little boys prefer men without noses. We won’t even get started about his chin.

It’s been a rough life for old Michael… child star, undoubtedly molested by numerous people, insanely talented and wealthy, totally nuts. Michael was the only Jackson that made something of himself, relatively speaking. Janet’s only claim to fame after decades in the music industry is her 2 second nip slip-up. Latoya is even worse, and then there are the others, who I cannot personally name except I think there’s one with an Italian name…. Tino? Tito? Whatever. The point being, none of them did anything with their lives.

Michael peaked in the early 80’s, and started the slippery slope towards insanely wealthy has-been. He comforted himself in the fact that he could spend his time luring boys back to his bedroom. However, due to his incessant facial feature removal process, boys were afraid of him. He needed something to get their attention.

Of course… an amusement park. That’ll get the boys running to the bedroom.

Thank god we live in a society where rich insane guys can molest without having to go to jail. Emphasis on rich, of course.

If I were rich, I’d probably spend my money building the most awesome website in the world, and I’d mass mail every email address in the world telling them about the awesomitude (thanks Dusty) that is my site. And world peace would be a natural side effect.

The crazy featureless guys always have the most money. What a waste.

  16 comments for “Michael Jackson Gets Off

  1. June 14, 2005 at 11:56 pm

    I am totally disgusted (yet not at all surprised) by the Wacko Jacko verdict. It almost makes me want to become rich and famous so I can be the felon I always dreamed I could be. 🙂

  2. June 15, 2005 at 6:03 am

    I’m not too surprised by the verdict either. Even the jury said he “more than likely molested the boy”. Horrible huh? He finally announces he’ll stop sleeping with boys so he doesn’t face this problem again. GEE YA THINK MICHAEL??????? He makes me sick. I wish he’d just go away already!

  3. June 15, 2005 at 8:06 am

    Yeah no shit. It is too bad Jeffery Dahmer never had a chance to visit Michael. That would have been a funny headline!

    “Pop star gets eaten, while eating white man”

    Or

    “Insane Noseless man tastes like chicken”

  4. June 15, 2005 at 9:00 am

    Yeah, I guess he Beat It. *snicker*

  5. June 15, 2005 at 9:23 am

    But the kid is not his son.

  6. June 15, 2005 at 9:25 am

    If the jury thought he “mose than likely” molested the boy then why couldn’t they convict him? They are supposed to go by the evidence and if the evidence says he didn’t molest then he didn’t do it. However, if the evidence says he DID molest the boy then why the Not Guilty verdict? Something doesn’t sound right, I mean, besides the whole idea of Michael Jackson himself that is.

  7. Bobby
    June 15, 2005 at 10:04 am

    To convict someone you are supposed to be sure, can’t just say well we are pretty sure. Quite frankly I am glad that that’s the way it is. Maybe crimes go unpunished but I can’t think of anything worst then being imprisoned for something you didn’t do. I don’t have an opinion on the MJ thing cause I don’t know enough about the issue. All I know is that I wouldn’t let my kids near him and if everyone did that then we never would have had this problem. The people that should truly be punished are the parents for trying to turn their children into gigolo meal tickets.

  8. June 15, 2005 at 10:49 am

    All I know is that I wouldn’t let my kids near him and if everyone did that then we never would have had this problem. The people that should truly be punished are the parents for trying to turn their children into gigolo meal tickets.

    AMEN Brother Bobby!

  9. June 15, 2005 at 10:49 am

    Dammit! That was supposed to be blockqote!

  10. Rik
    June 15, 2005 at 11:05 am

    This whole trial was racist!! If he were a black man, he’d have been guilty!

  11. June 15, 2005 at 11:50 am

    I always knew that OJ was wearing blackface make-up!

  12. June 15, 2005 at 1:10 pm

    I think that if he would have started rapping instead of being the king of pop, (aka Crap) then he would have been thrown in jail. But since he is a sensitive pop music singing, bum tickler, instead of an angry gangster rapper, he got off.

  13. June 15, 2005 at 2:35 pm

    Exactly right! The jury said they did not have evidence “beyond a reasonable doubt” that those boys were molested. It’s crap in my opinion. And the mother left a bad taste in their mouth too and that didn’t help them any. The Jeffrey Dahmer comments…LMAO!!!

  14. June 15, 2005 at 3:46 pm

    I still think Michael is a GREAT candidate for “Scared Straight”. *double snicker*

  15. June 16, 2005 at 9:45 am

    Awww…. I’ll sorta mis seeing Michael’s dead, dead eyes staring at me every morning from CNN’s website.

  16. June 16, 2005 at 11:33 am

    Did you vote for Incredipeter????

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