Martha Stewart – Ride the Lightning

I refrained from talking about Martha during her trial and prison, because it was so overplayed in all forms of media. And yes, by its purest definition, this site is “media.”

So now is my opportunity to voice my opinion on Martha’s plight. First, she should probably not have gotten in trouble at all for her insider trading coverup. She didn’t get in trouble for insider trading, she got in trouble for lying about it. That’s just ridiculous. If lying sends you to jail, then the entire city of Washington DC should be locked up.

However, before we let Martha off too easy… let’s remember the countless lives she’s ruined.

Martha, when you boil it all down, is a frumpy, sick old woman, exploiting slave labor in sweat shops to make a bunch of crap that only a menopausal woman could appreciate.

Martha should be executed for her blatant disregard for good taste. No one wants to see you take perfectly good popsicle sticks and waste them making a functional pink toaster.

So Martha didn’t really get what she deserved. They punished her for whatever they could… much like Al Capone being taken down by the IRS. He covered up his other crimes too well. I hope that Martha appreciates how lucky she is that we didn’t send her to the chair.

I almost died the other day when I flipped past her show. I practically caught a nasty case of Martha Stewart Living Poisoning.

  6 comments for “Martha Stewart – Ride the Lightning

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I had a comment, but there’s no way I could top Neo’s suggestion…

  2. Neo
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Neo By watching American Chopper, naked, covered in 10w-30.

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andria hahaha – Martha Stewart Living Poisoning… how the hell do you get rid of that??

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete “Cool Jobs in Museums?” You mean like… cool people at the Shriner’s convention? There’s nothing cool about museums, unless you can get a job blowing them up…

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Nightmare First and Second Byotches!

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Nightmare I agree, Martha was a scape goat because more people knew her name than that of the cocksucking enron fuckers. Who by the way need to be anally gang raped by cape buffalo, repeatedly. And then given an alcohol enema. But just to make sure they understand why we are mad, it should happen 3 times a week. Not everyday, because you can get used to the pain this way it keeps them on their toes. Hey do you know of any cool jobs in museums around here?

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