Kennebunkport Or Bust

And, here I am again, per usual. As you know, I’m still in Maine, and today I drove down the coast to Kennebunkport, also known as “Bushville.” I visited the Bush home, and was promptly greeted with warning shots by the Marine sharpshooters on the roof. So I decided it would be best to take pictures from a distance. Thank god for zoom lenses. Here is the “Bush Cape” in Kennebunkport:

I wanted to get a nice tan while on vacation, because I don’t usually get to spend much time outdoors. It’s been cloudy, so I haven’t developed much of a tan, but fortunately for me, I have so many bug bites on my head, it is all red and almost looks like the sun did it. Just to prove I was actually there, and didn’t just steal the photo off the Internet, here is my self portrait at the Bush mansion:

It was a bit annoying to drive down the coast, because in Maine, most of the towns require permits to park ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE TOWN. I’m not making that up. They have signs everywhere. They might as well have signs that say “You tourists just keep on driving, we don’t want your kind around here. We know who you are.” It’s like an entire state of Stepford. The only exceptions are the “designated tourist towns” which are a cross between the old west and a highly dangerous carnival.

We drove through a town called Sucko, or Saco, or something like that, and we realized that for the most part, coastal towns suck. It’s like Missouri by the Sea. The intention was to drive down the coast on state highway 9, and then back on Interstate 95. The only problem was that the highway that connects them, state highway 9a decided to choose last night to develop a sinkhole, so it was closed. This meant driving around in the back woods of Maine, which is frighteningly reminiscent of “Deliverance.” Finally, we found a highway that sounded familiar, although I’m certain that we wandered back into New Hampshire in the process. They really need to put up a fence or something so you know when you’ve gotten to a different state. New England could have easily functioned as one big state, except that they wanted to have a disproportionate number of representatives and senators in Washington. Nice plan. Now we see why the government is so screwed up.

Finally we stopped for dinner in Kennebunkport. I’ve already forgotten the name of the place, but we sat out on the dock, and this was the view:

Not bad. It’s like that at almost all of the restaurants up here. I got a few more bug bites, but it was worth it. I’ll have to just suck it up, since I’m in Maine: The Huge Mosquito State.

Here’s another one of those pictures I risked life and limb to take. It was really pretty, and it deserved a shot or two:

Anyway, I don’t have anything else to report for today. I hope I didn’t bore you too much. If I did, well, I don’t care, actually. Later gators.

  8 comments for “Kennebunkport Or Bust

  1. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT Last time I was in Martha’s Vineyard I saw this hat that I wish I would’ve bought, it said:

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea The last pic was my favorite. I’m going to “I Dream Of Jeanie” blink you some Deep Woods Off, take care of that noggin.

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Jackie I have been enjoying you vacation vicariously every morning. It is nice to know that someone is on the outside having a good time. Does everyone there have that cool accent where they say things like”chowdah” instead of “chowder”?

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy I think the mosquitos are like that on the entire East Coast. You can hear them coming at my house. It sounds like the National Guard helicopters on a training mission. They have been known to pick up small children and carry them away.

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Roger Nice going Incredipete, particularly on the tanning front. We’ve had the worst july weather for years just lately, but the sun has decided to come out for a couple of days to burn our pasty english skin. Then summer will be over. Rub a little instant gravy powder on your head for an authentic “just tanned” look, but try to avoid having a tan-line round your forehead. Or pray for sun.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete The Red Lobster by my house in KC got torn down, and they built a Chinese buffet in it’s place… a very positive change in my opinion. And thanks for the compliment, Chadster!

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Teets I think the mosquito is the state bird of Maine. I like to go to the Red Lobster on rainy days because it reminds me of living in New England when I was a kid.

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: chadly Made it all the way to the bottom, and only fell asleep once! 😉 Great pics man. Happy to hear you’re enjoying your trip.

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