If you were going to write a Broadway show about the life of Jesus…
You might want to portray it accurately. Just a thought.
I can accept that it’s all about the entertainment factor. That it’s creative license. That the actual life of Christ was not exactly conducive to high-kicking show tunes.
However, I still have a few notes for the director of Jesus Christ Superstar:
1. Whatever the skanky girls with Howard Stern wigs were supposed to represent… give it up. They were creepy and bizarre, and not even remotely interesting.
2. It’s probably not the best idea to cast the guy with the best voice in the role of Judas Iscariot instead of Jesus.
3. If the real Jesus were a Broadway singer, he’d probably be able to hit all of the notes in his songs.
4. Much of the Biblical account of Jesus’ life was mirrored in other historical accounts… you might consider keeping at least a few of the facts somewhat related to reality.
5. Pontias Pilate actually didn’t want to execute Jesus, and tried to convince the Jews to let him go by offering up a choice between Jesus and a convicted criminal, Barabus, going free. The Jews shouted “Give us Barabus.” However, in the show, Pilate was pissy and arrogant, and never gave the crowd the choice.
6. The high priest, Ciaphus… why did he sound just like the Grinch? Is that supposed to be clever? It’s not.
7. Why the heck would you end the story of Jesus at the crucifixion? Duh. That’s not the happy ending… morons.
8. Contrary to what John Lennon said… the Beatles were not more popular than Jesus, and in 2,000 years, I doubt very much they’ll still be remembered, whereas I’m fairly sure Jesus will still be “on the charts.”
9. Andrew Lloyd Webber should stick to writing about people whose faces were burned with acid.