Normally I would shy away from a hard and cold stereotype in a post, but the evidence is overwhelming, at least here in the suburbs of Kansas City, particularly on the Kansas side of the state line.
Black people insist on driving agonizingly slow in the passing lane, making sure to drive right next to the granny in the middle lane so that the only way to get around is to go all the way to the right and speed past both of them in an illegal pass. Today I was stuck behind one for about 5 miles, I finally made a death-defying right-lane pass at about 100 miles per hour, only to find myself behind another black person going 55 in the passing lane about one mile later. The speed limit is 65.
This isn’t an isolated incident or a coincidence. It happens on my commute almost every day. If a white person was ever the culprit, I’d remember it vividly because it NEVER happens. The white people are ALL trying to go 80 and being frustrated by the slow black drivers.
So here are some potential theories:
1. Black people like to drive slow because they are inherently safer drivers than white people.
2. Black people lack the skills to drive faster than 55 miles per hour.
3. Black people are afraid the police are going to mercilessly profile them and beat them Rodney King style if they speed.
4. Black people are passive-aggressively getting back at whitey for slavery by making them late for work every day.
I have to believe that it’s option 4. There are no cops to speak of on this stretch of highway… that’s why everyone goes at least 80 (everyone white, that is). I’m positive driving safety doesn’t get into the mix, because it’s NOT safer to go 25 miles per hour under the prevailing speed. It actually becomes dangerous because everyone feels compelled to tailgate 1 inch behind them in hopes they will pull over, which of course they never do.
It can’t be a skill factor. All you have to do to see that black people should be the best drivers on the road is watch the NBA or the NFL for 5 minutes. Black people are genetically superior athletes, which you would think would transfer into driving skills since much of that is hand-eye coordination.
Yes, I think it’s a massive plot by black people to get back at whitey for the years of oppression and racism. I’d say “Who can blame them?” except that –
NO LIVING AFRICAN-AMERICAN WAS EVER A FRICKIN’ SLAVE and NO LIVING WHITEY WAS EVER A SLAVE OWNER.
PS – Kanye, the reason you keep losing isn’t because you’re black, it’s because you suck. MTV gives tons of awards to black people, you moron.