If the Shoe Fits

You musn’t acquit.

Yes, my friends, today we talk about profiling. More specifically, the absolute necessity and wisdom of profiling.

It comes at a relevant moment, as I was profiled last week. Last week I drove to Texas on business, and on the drive back, I was coming through Oklahoma City, and the Highway Patrol pulled me over. It was an SUV with a ticked off dog in the back. I can only assume it was a drug enforcement unit.

So there I was, driving a rental car with Missouri plates in the middle of the night through OKC. I’m sure it looked suspicious. He pulled me over and asked for my license and registration. I handed him my license and rental agreement instead, and he asked me to step out of the car.

He informed me that I had not signaled “long enough” when I changed lanes. Keep in mind it was the middle of the night and there were about 4 total cars on the entire highway. And he acknowledged that I did in fact signal, despite the fact there were no other cars around… hmmm.

So, trooper Dan asked me where I was heading and where I was coming from. I explained that I was driving back to KC from my business trip to Sherman, TX. We chatted for a few minutes about the type of consulting I do, and he was quickly satisfied that I was legit. He handed back my stuff and said “You have a great night, Mr. Lucas.”

And that was that. He didn’t run my plates, didn’t run my license, didn’t give me a ticket. It was a simple profiling stop.

NOW. If I was black, I would be SCREAMING racism and profiling. Normally I wouldn’t call out one particular group of people in an article like this, but I have HAD IT with the chip on the shoulder of black drivers who get pulled over by white cops.

I live in Kansas. I live in a residential area with absolutely no nightlife or 24 hour businesses. If a beat up car with Missouri plates is driving through my neighborhood at 3 AM, I would estimate that at least 70% of the time, the driver of the car is up to no good. Sure, that’s based on my guess and not hard statistics. Deal with it, it’s my article.

The other 30% of those drivers are people who have friends they were visiting in my neighborhood.

So, let me ask a rhetorical question. If police KNOW statistically that 67% of crimes in my neighborhood are committed by black males between 16-25 from Missouri, shouldn’t 67% of police stops be black males between 16-25 from Missouri?

That sounds completely fair, because it IS completely fair. If bald white guys driving white Impalas with Missouri plates commit 74% of the crimes in Oklahoma City, then by george, those troopers are FALLING DOWN ON THE JOB if 74% of their stops are people like me.

The same is true in airports. If we know that statistically, 100% of terrorism on airlines is committed by Arab males between 18-28, shouldn’t 100% of the people we scrutinize in the airport be in that demographic.



PS – I carved a pumpkin:


Happy Halloween!

  5 comments for “If the Shoe Fits

  1. October 31, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    Technically speaking, I agree with you on the airport profiling … how-evah, bear in mind that most terrorist groups have American citisens supplying them with all sorts of explosives/information/assistance. I’m not talking about your Average Normal Person, but your extreme anti-government/survivalist/criminal types. Somebody helps the terrorists along the way.

  2. October 31, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    Oh yeah, the cops profile the skinheads as well, especially if they’re from Idaho. Nice pussy, btw.

  3. October 31, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    Oooooooh! That looks SO great!

  4. October 31, 2006 at 5:49 pm


  5. Livieloo
    October 31, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    Nice pumpkin. I told myself I’d get one and carve it this year but that obviously didn’t happen. It’s funny, when I drove to OKC for a visit I maybe saw one cop car my whole drive and stay. Of course, I wasn’t driving at 4 A.M.

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