If Democrats weren’t Wieners, Obama Would Have it Locked Up (or “Why I’m Endorsing Hillary Clinton”)

You heard me right. Now, I’m no fan of Clinton or Obama (or Osama, or McCain, or Kennedy for that matter), but Obama deserves to have this thing wrapped up. Here’s why: The Democrats system of allocating delegates is girly and un-American. Recently Obama won a state by nearly 20 percent. He got 17 delegates from that state, Clinton got 15. Clinton got 15 delegates for being blown out.

The Democrats set up a system where they reward losing. I suppose it should come as no surprise, since they’re always trying to prop up the lazy and worthless members of society. I’m by no means supporting Obama as a Presidential candidate (although he does make me all tingly when he speaks), but let’s give the guy his due. He has won a crapload of states. The superdelegates are likely to give it to Hillary anyway, which will cause the entire Democrat party to implode, which has great potential for being entertaining.

Of course, we all know that the Democrats’ philosophy involves taking money from working Americans and giving it to illegal aliens, losers, and criminals. To them, that’s “fair.” And hey, with the Republican’s track record the past 20 years, I’m starting to think there’s no difference there. That means the only thing left to do is either vote on social issues, or vote for whoever is the most entertaining person.

Obama is inspirational, but that isn’t interesting. McCain is boring AND messed up on his foreign policy. Clinton, in my opinion, gives us the most potential for laughter and scandal for the next 8 years, and in my book, scandal=interesting. Bill Clinton was a genius. He sat back while the economy roared along, fooled around with various and sundry ugly chicks, and collected his paycheck. He was frickin’ interesting to watch, and that’s why America loved him (and the fact he was a populist).

We are a generation in need of entertainment, so I’m officially changing my presidential endorsement to Hillary Clinton.

  5 comments for “If Democrats weren’t Wieners, Obama Would Have it Locked Up (or “Why I’m Endorsing Hillary Clinton”)

  1. Meg
    March 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    Bill Clinton was so interesting he managed to send a measly 2 emails in his entire time in office, one of them to himself.

    Not my kind of interesting. Seeing the who democratic party explode however, sounds loads of fun!

  2. HRT
    March 26, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Your post was snide, snarky and mildly sarcastic. Wonderful!

    This will be the first national election that I’ve voted in that I honestly will have no strong opinion for any particular candidate, I’ve got issues against all of them. Except that I under no circumstances can imagine myself EVER voting for a Clinton, even if literally a gun were placed to my temple. Sudden death, sudden glory.

    I like the angle of going for whomever would be the most entertaining, however, I’m probably going to end up voting for the lessor of two weebles.

  3. March 26, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Might I suggest that they’re ALL 100% pure evil?

    Just vote for whoever will give us the most bang for our buck.. and that HAS to be a Clinton.

  4. March 27, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Hey Republico-Censor…start allowing me to curse in my posts or you and me are going to throw down.

    Supporting Hillary…you don’t dare. You’re not that angry of a man

  5. mental
    March 30, 2008 at 11:41 am

    Jesus. H. Christ.

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