It’s not that I hate everyone.
I like me.
I like my pups.
Sometimes I even like my family.
But the fact of the matter is, I’m far too self-absorbed to spend time thinking about other people. If I do something considerate for you, then you should count yourself very lucky, because it’s not normal.
I get immersed in what I’m doing, and everything else becomes secondary. People try to talk to me when I’m working on something, and usually I don’t even realize they’re there.
But honestly, it’s not that I hate them. I just have a very focused approach to problem-solving. There are times I’ll start working on something after work, and the next thing I know, the sun has come up and it’s time to go back to work. And people wonder why I’m tired all the time.
The times I’ve been in serious relationships, the number one complaint of the girl is that I don’t pay enough attention to her. It isn’t that I don’t try. It isn’t that I hate her, or that I’m bored with her. If I’m focused on her, I can’t be easily distracted from that, either. But I’m not going to focus on her 12 hours a day. That’s not realistic, and it isn’t going to happen. Maybe a couple of hours. Some days, not at all.
I haven’t yet met a girl that could handle that without thinking I hated her. That’s one reason that friends are better than girlfriends. Friends expect that you won’t focus a lot of time on them, and they’re pleasantly surprised when you do something nice for you. Girlfriends, on the other hand, feel entitled to at least “some” time each day. But I ask you, what about the days when I’m too busy to do that? Theoretically, she’ll be so busy with her medical practice that she won’t necessarily have lots of time to spend with me, either.
The key there is finding someone that is absorbed, at least at some level, in her career. If she’s working as a cashier at the grocery store, she’s not going to be bringing a lot of work home with her, and she’ll expect more of my time. Ya know what I mean? And no, I’m not saying anything bad about cashiers… my mom was even a cashier for a while… while she finished her degree, which she got so she could get a good job…also known as a “career.”
And maybe that’s the point. I need to find someone that has a “career,” not a “job.” Or just someone that isn’t insecure and needy… I’m just saying.