Hotter than Yours

I stumbled on an Internet forum the other day where men were discussing the relative hotness of their wives. I expected that it would be filled with lots of comments that were derogatory and/or piggish. So imagine my surprise when the men validated what I already believed.

My wife is HOT. She’s the prettiest, sexiest woman I’ve ever met. And I’m not asking you to agree, because frankly, if you’re married, that’s what you should think of YOUR wife.

When I say it about my wife, it’s not BS. It’s not flattery. I genuinely believe it 100%.

Well, the guys in this forum do, too. More than 5,000 responses, and almost all of them said the same basic things:

“My wife is the standard for beauty that I measure everyone else by. If she changes, my standard for beauty changes”
“I’ve been with my wife for X years and she’s still the only woman that could ever do it for me”
“My wife is hotter today than the day I met her”
“She just gets better with age”
“My wife was cute when I met her, now she’s absolutely gorgeous”
“I’ve never met another woman as beautiful as my wife”

A couple of men said “well, I used to think my wife was hot, but not so much anymore.” And you know what happened? Those guys were completely lambasted for it. “How could you say that about your wife?” “Your wife loves you, how could you be such a jerk?” Etc.

Apparently the prevailing feeling among married men is that their wife is the hottest woman they know, your wife should be the hottest woman you know, and if you don’t think your wife is your standard for beauty, you’re a jerk.

I agree wholeheartedly, I’m just shocked. Men can be real superficial pigs, and this forum was open to the public, not at all religious, and VERY active. So I figured, hey, it must just be this particular website attracting this kind of person.

So for three days, I’ve scoured the Internet for other forums, and guess what… it’s universal. And by universal I mean “not universal.” Every source I saw where the age of the men was 24 and up, they agreed with the above. Every source where the age of the men was 23 and lower, it was much more mixed. Perhaps thinking your wife is beautiful is a sign of maturity? I’m still working on a theory as to why that shift occurs.

I was also surprised to find that women had no such commentary out there. The married women say things like:

“My husband wouldn’t win any contests on looks, but he’s good to me and I love him”
“I think he’s cute, but I wouldn’t call him hot”
“He’s a good husband and father, and his looks just don’t matter to me”

So different from the men. Perhaps it’s because men are naturally more focused on beauty and women on character? Still surprising to me that more women are married to men they don’t think are hot, though.

Guys (and gals), would you say your spouse is the hottest woman (man) you know?


  3 comments for “Hotter than Yours

  1. Christen
    July 19, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    I wonder if for a man, his wife is an extension of what he’s got to offer…I don’t mean this in a bad way. I just mean, a man likes to look at his accomplishments and possessions as extensions of his worth. His wife (while not his possession) shows his ability to choose wisely. Therefore, if she’s “hot” he is a wise man. Men think in terms of the most concise way to express that his wife is a great housekeeper, mother, sexual partner, conversationalist, etc…and they come up with the term “hot”.
    For a woman, things we find attractive are helpfulness, kindness to us and our children (as well as humankind), taking care of financial burdens, and being vulnerable Spiritually as well as emotionally. These are all very important to us. If a woman doesn’t say out loud that her spouse is “hot” it may also be that we prefer to keep his hotness to ourselves because we don’t want other women to notice what we already know. And as a side note, I imagine most women find that their husband’s vanity is deeper than their own and that they spend more than twice the amount of time in front of the mirror than we women do. Who knew?!!! In my case, my husband is truly a better man today than any other guy I’ve known. And on the matter of hotness, I think he’s smokin’…But, sh…I don’t want any other women to know that.

  2. July 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I have a hard time believing someone would marry someone they aren’t physically attracted to unless there was some extenuating circumstance.

  3. July 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm


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