So I recently asked readers to take a survey, and one of the questions I asked was for you to describe me in 5 words or less. Here are some selected responses:
- Dumbest smart person I’ve known
- Crunchy outside with a chewy center
- Gun crazy, Christian, Republican
- Cute, naughty, conservative, sweet
- Sarcastic, artistic, friend worth having
- Intelligent, Controversial
It was fascinating to read the responses to the survey, and I’ll probably do more of those in the future. I also found that my reading audience is overwhelmingly female (74%) and liberal (68%). About 6% of my readers belong to a cult (mormon, scientologist, jehovah’s witness, hale bop, etc.). A slight majority of my readers claim to become affectionate and/or naked when they drink. (74% female, 68% liberal, and they like to be naked when they’re drunk… Kegger at Incredipete’s house!)
36% of readers have been reading here for more than 3 years, and 5% of readers have been reading since day one. 91% of readers check more than once a week, and 56% say I don’t update enough and I suck. 66% of readers were born in the first 6 months of the year, which I find odd. Most readers (85%) do not play a musical instrument, and of the 15% who do play, 43% told me not to tell anyone.
I also asked readers to describe themselves in 5 words or less. Here are some selected responses:
- Confusing and impossible, but sunny*
- A Pain in the Ass*
- Independent to a fault
- Foolishly Optimistic
- Unbelievably, incredibly, amazingly, fantasticly humble
- Loud, hyper, sloppy, smart, round
*Don’t these two describe MOST women?
Not surprisingly, most readers sucked up and said this blog was their favorite blog, but a few people fessed up to the truth and listed Pork Tornado, Yeah I’m A Dork, and JuddHole as their favorites.
Now on to something that actually matters.
Rudy – my early prediction, smoked himself with his retarded strategy. He got slaughtered in Florida and he had put all of his eggs in that basket. Now we’re down to John McCain, a Republican who acts like a Democrat, and Mitt Romney, a liberal panderer who acts like a Republican. I’m thrilled. I’m still dreaming of a Huckabee win, but I’d say that’s a pipe dream at this point.
John (I made everyone’s healthcare more expensive by suing doctors and insurance companies, making myself rich in the process, and now I want to pretend to care about the little people) Edwards is also dropping out of the race, good riddens. I’d actually rather have Clinton over Edwards, since at least we can look forward to some elicit drama in the White House with Bill running around up there.
Obama is a wild card. I’m pretty sure I hate every single thing he stands for, but by darn, every time I hear him speak I want to hump his leg. He’s a heck of a charismatic, inspirational speaker. I’m not one of those people that thinks political experience is necessary or important to be president. In fact, the founding fathers didn’t exactly see “politician” as a career path. However, the limited history we DO have on Obama indicates he’s all about big government, higher taxes, punish businesses who make a profit, take money from the rich and give it to the poor, pro abortion, pro dismantling the military, anti gun, and pretty much an all-around communist. This is not much different from Clinton, who is a well-established, credentialed communist.
Then there’s McCain. I think he’s frankly lost his guts spending 20 years in politics. He tends to change positions with the tide and he leans farther left than any other Republican candidate… thus the rap that he’s the favorite Republican of Democrats. It’s true. In the primaries where Democrats are allowed to vote in the Republican primary, McCain has gotten a lot of help from the left. This should be a clue to the Republican base that he’s not actually a Republican. Duh.
Then there’s Mitt Romney, who was a fancy-pants Boston liberal communist who held all of the beliefs contrary to a conservative until he left MA. Now he’s suddenly pro life, pro gun (he’s a lifetime member of the NRA – since last year), pro smaller government (in MA he was all about bigger government) and anti illegal immigration.
So is it better to go with a known communist, a suspected communist, a communist who pretends to be a conservative, or a communist who calls himself a conservative but acts like a communist?
I hope the electronic voting booths include a button we can push to Kevorkian ourselves.