Beginning very early on in the life of IncrediIncredipete, the hate mail started pouring in. Much of it disagreed with something I had written, while a portion merely hurled insults. Then came the threats. There were at least 3 times I shut down the site while I provided police with details. And even more creepy, hate mail began arriving in my actual mail box at my house. That was a tad on the scary side, even for a gun-toting redneck such as myself.
I’ve amassed quite a collection of hate-filled hilarity, and I’m going to now share my top 10 with you. I will also provide some commentary about each one, including what post (if any) they were specifically upset about. Please note these were copied and pasted (except for postal mail I received) so the atrocious spelling is theirs, not mine. (Some words have been @#$@ified because they were vulgar)
10. The Angry Feminist – “You know, you are going to die single with your chovanist attitude. And you know what, you deserve to die single. What makes you think that your so special that you can sit their and group women into categories, as if you know anything about women. F$@$ you and your macho stupid a$$hole opinions. Why don’t you stop writing this crap and get a job!”
This particular hate mail was received in response to What Kind of Woman Are You which in case you’re wondering was actually pretty funny, if I do say so myself. This woman is the kind of person who gets mad at guys if they hold the door for them. I left off an important category – women with no sense of humor.
9. The Foreigner – “I read your article called Other Cultures Suck and I have to say that you are exactly the reason that the rest of the world hates America. You Americans think you’re so fantastic, but you’re really just arrogant, selfish, spoiled idiots. I think you need to think about what you said and then offer an apology. We in the rest of the world don’t deserve your disdain.”
Alright, I have to admit, this guy wasn’t a raging loon, but he definitely didn’t pick up on the fact that the article Other Cultures Suck was intended to be humorous. However I love the part where he tells me I need to think about what I said! That was priceless.
8. Fat People of the World Unite – “You F@#$ING INSENSITVE JERK! HOW DARE YOU BE DEROGATORY ABOUT OBESITY! Most of us who are overweight can’t do anything about it! There are countless medical reasons for obesity and for you to imply that we’re all just lazy slobs is disgusting and insensitive. I hope you get diabetes and get fat, you pig!”
I actually received 58 comments, 22 emails, and 1 death threat (to my house) after writing a post where I made the mistake of implying that eating too much caused obesity, despite the fact that obese people usually say it’s something else. Apparently they aren’t teaching the whole “calories” subject in school anymore, because that one was ugly. It’s literally the only post I’ve ever deleted, and to this day I regret doing so. I wish it was still there so you could all read it and laugh, because it was one of my better posts. I picked this particular email to post because it was the only one where I wouldn’t have had to censor every other word.
7. Sympathetic Reader? – “I’ve been reading your site for a while know, and I have come to the conclusion you must be a very unhappy person. You seem so angry and depressed, and I feel sorry for you.”
This person was responding to the post Things That Drive Me Nuts. Apparently none of the stuff on my list drove her nuts. I say her, because I tracked that particular email back to one of my old coworkers. Trust me, she’s the unhappy person. Incidentally, most of the ugly comments I’ve received over the years have come from my old employer. The entire company has been banned from commenting for almost 2 years now.
6. Another Angry Feminist – “I just read your tripe about Carly Fiorina. It’s disgusting that you would take one person (who frankly did a great job) and use her to justify your anti-woman message. It’s been proven time and time again that women have far more intellectual ability than men, and the fact we aren’t in more executive positions is the constant discrimination of men. Someday you’re going to end up working for a woman and I hope she finds out what you actually think because she’ll fire your ass. Why don’t you do something constructive instead of perpetuating stereotypes!”
This email was responding to Woman + Executive Job = Disaster where I was pointing out that it took a woman to tank one of the most successful companies in the world. Granted, I left out all of the examples of the companies that men were tanking at the same time, but it’s my blog and frankly, that wouldn’t have been funny or entertaining. The real reason women don’t hold executive jobs in this country (aside from having babies) is that the ones who want those jobs always act like raging beeotches for some inexplicable reason. Men aren’t threatened by women acting that way, they just don’t like being around them!
5. The Jock – “You’re a f@$!#ng wussbag piece of s!@# wannabe who couldn’t hack it at any sports so now all you can do is rag on people who actually have talent. F!@# you!”
Yes, I wrote an entry called College Sports are for Dummies in which I pointed out that most athletes have roughly the same IQ and real-life ambition of a bag of potato chips. Unless these guys make it into pro sports and get rich, they’re doomed to a life of working crappy manual labor jobs. The truth hurts. I’m just shocked the jock was able to form a sentence that included a noun and a verb!
4. The Teenage Pastor’s Kid – “i cant believe you think taht all pastors kids are bad. i dont live in a bubble and my dads a pastor! just because you were judgemental doesnt mean that other pastors kids are. maybe you just had a bad attitude. theres nothing wrong with being sheltered from the evil in this world and maybe you should think about that instead of saturating your soul with secular music movies and television. the only thing they have to offer is sex and violence which will leave you empty.”
To quote Groucho Marx “At my age, to be corrected by an imbecile!” Yes, I wrote an entry called The Pastor’s Kid where I talked about the experiences I had growing up in a religious bubble. I assume that my little friend was a teenager due to the lack of capitalization and punctuation, but mostly because the the immaturity of their views. Everybody knows that sex and violence are cool!
3. The Union Thug – “Your post about buying non-American goods is treason. You should be hung from the highest tree for aiding the enemy. Hard-working Americans hold union jobs and we are damn proud of it. We are more talented, harder working, and more contientious than any of those hack foreign competitiors. It’s idiots like you that keep Americans out of work and the rest of the world buying up America’s future. You’d better hope I don’t ever meet you in person or I’ll show you just how powerful American unions still are.”
I really like this one. A lot. It has something for everyone – bad logic, misinformation, lies, and threats. I was completely correct in my assertions made in Be an American – Buy Non-Union. Unions drive up costs and reduce quality (by preventing the company from getting rid of morons), while basically handing the business to the competition. Face it, your stupid union job of putting a nut on a bolt all day just isn’t worth $60.00 an hour. The Japanese deserve to beat you people.
2. The Judas – “Reading everything you write here exposes what a lame existence you have. I feel sorry for you.”
This was actually a comment left on a post I wrote about… FOOTBALL, Peyton & Tom. I deleted this part from the comment thread, but it’s time we aired it for the world. This comment was left by someone who claimed for 8 years to be my friend. Someone who said they would always look out for me and have my back. It’s a shame she didn’t have the guts to put her name on there, since real friends are supposed to stab you in the front.
1. Another Judas – “You know You know IncrediIncredipete, you seem to have alot of time to on your hands, if you keep excel spreadsheets of people who hit your site, plus, take time to figure how many hits come from your former employers. I mean, really, who cares… What a waste of time to keep track of it. I hate to say it but, you brought alot of these things that happened (or so called happened) on yourself. I’ve read a few of these postings that you’ve put on here and at some times, you seem to be a bitter person. And when someone calls you out, you can’t take it but, you sure can dish it out. I feel sorry for you.”
Yet another person who had claimed to be my friend putting their two cents in. They were responding to Don’t Like Your Life? where I implied that you can do anything you put your mind to if you want it bad enough. God forbid. Anyhow, this person decided that I was a bad and bitter person because I don’t like it when people who claim to be my friend post insulting ANONYMOUS comments on my blog. What’s more pathetic; writing a blog, or reading said blog and posting rude anonymous comments on it? “You Know”, you know who you are, and I do to. I hope you’re as happy that we’re not friends anymore as I am.