Get A Car

Let’s talk about something today as popular as it is stupid.

Motorcycles. If you ride a motorcycle, you will die in a fiery crash. It’s a guarantee. Guys that drive motorcycles have this manly macho air about them, at least that’s what women seem to think. When I see a guy drive by on a motorcycle, I think “Gosh, it’s too bad he can’t afford to buy a car.”

We have vehicles that have air conditioning, protection from the elements, 4 wheels. We invented a 4 wheel vehicle because it was a stable design. It doesn’t fall over when you stop moving. I’ve been at a stoplight behind a motorcycle and watched it literally fall over on its side and pin the guy to the ground. My car never does that to me.

And then we have the super-macho crotch rocket guys, who think it’s great fun to drive 100 mph on nothing but the rear tire. At least most of these guys wear helmets, so they can live as a cripple for the next 60 years along with their uninjured brain.

I’m not going to sit here and say that choppers aren’t cool to look at. They are. But as a mode of transportation they suck. They have all of the safety features of a moped, but they also go fast. Not a good combination.

So guys, if you think that driving a motorcycle makes you seem macho and worldly, just remember, those of us in our cars are laughing at you.


  13 comments for “Get A Car

  1. MyraMains
    August 30, 2005 at 11:03 am

    Couldn’t agree more. The crash isn’t an “if”, but a “when”, because though most riders are capable, many a motorist is a raging dolt…and last time I checked, even a Yugo could squish a biker. When I see a macho biker whizz by, I can’t help but imagine the meaty red line they will someday paint down the asphalt. Dummies.

  2. Lynne
    August 30, 2005 at 11:37 am

    Usually, they do have a car…they are just riding their bike at the time. Yeah, it’s probably a 1972 Datsun B-210, but whatever. Besides, guys on Harleys are HOT.

  3. August 30, 2005 at 11:41 am

    I fucking hate the loud ones. That drives me crazy.

  4. Rik
    August 30, 2005 at 12:21 pm

    If you don’t get it, i can’t explain it to you. It’s like religion or sex, you just have to have it to appreciate it.
    With that said, i have gotten pinned under my bike…at a gas station…with hot chicks staring at me. Not fun. Remember, small loops when you tie your shoes.

  5. August 30, 2005 at 12:38 pm

    Lynne, you wouldn’t say that if you saw ME on a Harley!

  6. August 30, 2005 at 3:39 pm

    Dude, Hubby and I are so hooked on American Chopper on Discovery. You should see some of the bikes they custom make; absolutely beautiful!

  7. August 30, 2005 at 4:07 pm

    Yeah, what Rik said…. except for the whole getting pinned by my bike…. that’s one of the saddest things I’ve heard. I’ve had four motorcycles in my life an totalled all of them. And am waiting for the funds to get another one. I don’t think it’s a macho thing so much as an open air, ability to go places cars can’t. It’s about the adventure … or at least knowing you have the right tools for one should the oppurtunity come your way. Don’t be a hater, Incredipete.

  8. August 30, 2005 at 7:46 pm

    What are you Jealous?

    Your big stupid cars get less then 1/4 the gas mileage and you will get stuck in traffic where cyclists can split lanes.

    Ok I’m jealous, because my huge stupid truck gets `12 miles to the gallon.

  9. August 30, 2005 at 9:02 pm

    I’m not really an advocate one way or the other, for or against motorcycles. My mom and stepdad go out on his Harley on the weekends and have a blast, and they are almost 60. More power to them. I wouldn’t personally do it but I think if you wanna ride a motorcycle, go ahead, that’s your life you’re playing with. But damn right now it doesn’t sound like a half bad idea, given that gas is like $2.85 a gallon right now 😉

  10. August 31, 2005 at 11:27 am

    I still want one…

  11. August 31, 2005 at 1:24 pm

    I think I look pretty damn hot on a Harley… whether I’m riding on the back or posing naked on a parked Harley. However, I have been flung off a Triumph Bonnie (1975) while going downhill … not fun. I’ve also had three friends die in motorcycle accidents. Bikes don’t kill people. Drivers do.

  12. MyraMains
    September 1, 2005 at 12:18 pm

    OK, I feel I ought to retract the “dummies” part of my above comment. Bikers are swell folks. The only ones who qualify as dummies are the ones who ride without protecting their bean with a helmet.

  13. September 1, 2005 at 12:55 pm

    I always imagined Jenna having a bike and you sitting in the seat behind her (what bikers refer to as “the bitch seat), your arms wrapped tightly around here, eyes shut, screaming in terror like a little girl as she guns the harley down the freeway.

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