So much more I want to say about the election, but I just don’t have the energy to fight with everyone today.
Instead, I’m going to talk about another topic that was brought to the forefront of my thoughts today: Emotional Blackmail.
Everyone has either experienced it or done it. Most of us have done both.
For example: “If you don’t recant your opinion about ______, I’m not going to be your friend anymore.”
Example 2: “If you love me, you’ll ______.”
Example 3: “I thought you cared about me, but now I know differently.”
Example 4: “Go ahead and do what you want… my opinion doesn’t matter.”
Example 5: “You never call me. Don’t you care about me?”
Emotional blackmail is designed to make the other person feel like such a heel, that they give in to your desire or demand. This is used daily by some people, going around trying to guilt trip people into doing things.
Not only have I done this to people, albeit unintentionally, I have also frequently been a victim of it. As my friends will attest, I am a huge pushover, and I have a natural inclination towards feeling guilty. Some people have figured that out, and try to use it against me.
But, I am wise to it now, and I refuse to be a victim of it anymore. My approach with these people now is to write them off. Is that harsh? Yes. And I don’t mean someone does it one time, they’re gone. But I mean, someone that exhibits a pattern of emotional blackmail is out. I have no use for them. It may sound like I’m reacting too strongly, but listen, I have too much natural guilt to listen to that kind of person.
There are so many other methods to get what you want… you can:
…sow what you want to reap.
…be direct and tell people what you want.
…spend your time with people that want to do what’s best for you.
There is never a case where emotional blackmail is the right solution. Never. It destroys relationships, it completely eliminates any respect I might have for someone, and it’s just whiny and stupid.
I hope if you catch me doing it, that you will call me out on it. Assuming of course that you’re a friend of mine. If not, keep your big mouth shut.