Emotional Blackmail

So much more I want to say about the election, but I just don’t have the energy to fight with everyone today.

Instead, I’m going to talk about another topic that was brought to the forefront of my thoughts today: Emotional Blackmail.

Everyone has either experienced it or done it. Most of us have done both.

For example: “If you don’t recant your opinion about ______, I’m not going to be your friend anymore.”

Example 2: “If you love me, you’ll ______.”

Example 3: “I thought you cared about me, but now I know differently.”

Example 4: “Go ahead and do what you want… my opinion doesn’t matter.”

Example 5: “You never call me. Don’t you care about me?”

Emotional blackmail is designed to make the other person feel like such a heel, that they give in to your desire or demand. This is used daily by some people, going around trying to guilt trip people into doing things.

Not only have I done this to people, albeit unintentionally, I have also frequently been a victim of it. As my friends will attest, I am a huge pushover, and I have a natural inclination towards feeling guilty. Some people have figured that out, and try to use it against me.

But, I am wise to it now, and I refuse to be a victim of it anymore. My approach with these people now is to write them off. Is that harsh? Yes. And I don’t mean someone does it one time, they’re gone. But I mean, someone that exhibits a pattern of emotional blackmail is out. I have no use for them. It may sound like I’m reacting too strongly, but listen, I have too much natural guilt to listen to that kind of person.

There are so many other methods to get what you want… you can:

…sow what you want to reap.

…be direct and tell people what you want.

…spend your time with people that want to do what’s best for you.

There is never a case where emotional blackmail is the right solution. Never. It destroys relationships, it completely eliminates any respect I might have for someone, and it’s just whiny and stupid.

I hope if you catch me doing it, that you will call me out on it. Assuming of course that you’re a friend of mine. If not, keep your big mouth shut.

Thanks.

  11 comments for “Emotional Blackmail

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Whatever yourself.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Whatever….

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I too, am passive aggressive. People think I’m not paying attention, and then “WHAMO”, they find out I was paying attention and plotting, and now they are toast.

  4. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT I tend to gravitate toward passive aggression myself.

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Kamasue Incredipete don’t ever feel bad about writing these kinds of useless people off. They are expendable, and they know it. And if you’re my friend, you’ll say I’m right. hehe Oh, and hi incredime, miss you.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: incredime I know how you feel Incredipete.

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Jackie It’s true, you shouldn’t let people manipulate you.

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy And before you go getting all steamed up (my little tea pot, that was a joke….Just so you understand.

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Okay Incredipete, I see how you are. I understand. Emotional people are too much for you. They don’t belong in your world. I really thought you were a nice guy. Boy was I wrong. I guess I will have to go round up all the people you have written off and give them the big hug they deserve.

  10. K
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: K PS- Consider yourself slapped, Suzy.

  11. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Kalisa Ooh, I like the yellow and black danger graphic. Haha, emotional blackmail! I never had that problem since I’m a guiltless bitch. I remember my mom used to get very upset with me when I was younger; I would refuse to do confessionals at church. I told her I didn’t have anything to say to the priest because I wasn’t sorry for anything I did 🙂

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