Dump the Beeotch

Tonight I found myself fascinated by one of the lamest shows ever aired on television. America’s Next Top Model.

Oh My Goodness. I’ve seen a lot of lame shows in my life, and this one takes the cake. So why, you ask, did I sit and watch it? Well, I’m glad you asked. I tuned to the channel just in time to see this girl get drunk and hop into the sack with some Italian guy in Milan. Just, hopped right in after knowing him for 2 hours.

Aside from the general slutiness and grossness of the whole incident, this girl also happened to have a boyfriend of 4 years that was completely in love with her. She was “lonely.” Lonely. And drunk. And a slut. Slut Slut Slut.

I haven’t got much respect for people that take their REAL relationships lightly. If it’s a bad relationship, get out of it. Don’t cheat. If it’s a good relationship and you still want to cheat, you should really do your partner a favor and dump them. It’s the least you can do. At least let them get along with their lives.

Anyhow, back to this girl. As soon as she did it, I thought to myself “Gosh, I hope that boyfriend rips her a new one, and I’m sure that it won’t happen, since guys are usually whipped.” I was pleasantly surprised by his initial response, which was loosely translated “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you threw away 4 years for one tumble, you stupid beeotch.” It showed self-respect, and I respect that.

Drunk is NEVER an excuse. You CHOSE to drink, you stupid moron! Loneliness is not an excuse. If you’re lonely, SO IS YOUR PARTNER, DUMMY!

Sadly the boyfriend ended up taking her back, but she lost the contest, so at least there was a little bit of karmic justice.

But here’s the thing… I’ve been cheated on. It was the most miserable feeling EVER, and she definitely did not deserve to have me after that (and didn’t) and probably deserved to die a slow painful death involving acid and paper cuts.

But I’m not bitter, because I have the most perfect girlfriend in the world now. Jenna.

  20 comments for “Dump the Beeotch

  1. August 7, 2005 at 12:08 am

    Incredipete, I watch shit like The Real World,and even I can’t believe you watched America’s Next Top Model. That guy took her back? He’s as much of a jackass as she is.

    And, the poker set is indeed awesome.

  2. August 7, 2005 at 9:35 am

    Dude you ARE whipped aren’t you?

    Isn’t it a good feeling?:-)

  3. August 7, 2005 at 9:50 am

    What amazes me is when the girl cheats on the boyfriend and the boyfriend kicks the other guys’ ass, like it’s all his fault or something. My husband has a great philosophy on this: if I were to cheat he wouldn’t start a fight with the guy, he’d simply shake the guys hand, hand me a packed suitcase and tell him “she’s your problem now. Bye!”

    Once strike and you’re out.

  4. August 7, 2005 at 11:21 am

    For somebody who is a self-admitted lightweight drinker, you sure have a lot of booze! Awesome dagger. Pretty poker stuff (gambler!!). Very gay lace curtain (but I love it). Nice chest. The wooden one, that is. Well, and Jenna’s.

    Cheating? it destroyed my marriage. Not right away but the after-effects were slow and insidious and in the end I couldn’t stay with him because of what he did.

  5. Jodie
    August 7, 2005 at 7:56 pm

    Um, Incredipete. You do realize that you have lace curtains, don’t you? Might I suggest some nice linen tab style curtains instead?

  6. August 7, 2005 at 9:11 pm

    We’ll just have to see what Jenna thinks about that.

    And no, I didn’t buy them. They were here when I bought the house. And as any real guy will attest, spending money on curtains is a bigger sin than having lace curtains that you got for free.

  7. MyraMains
    August 8, 2005 at 11:20 am

    I’m not even a real guy, and even I know that Incredipete’s right.

  8. August 8, 2005 at 1:36 pm

    Speaking as both a gay man in a woman’s body and as a Brit (in England lace curtains are quite popular): keep the lace curtains!

  9. August 9, 2005 at 10:30 am

    I am so ready to knit a warm sweater from your moral fiber… You rule Dollface.

  10. Rik
    August 9, 2005 at 11:32 am

    Seriously! Death to the infidels! No seriously, there should be harsher penalties for adulterers. They are the scourge of society. (and hippies)

  11. August 9, 2005 at 1:44 pm

    HIPPIES AND DAGGERS!!!! I have a thousand years of POWER!!!!

  12. August 9, 2005 at 1:51 pm

    Hey dipwad. Email me. You claim to like to review resumes. I gots me one that I want you to dissect. I seek to be humbled at the altar of your Incredibleness

  13. August 9, 2005 at 2:55 pm

    Daggers and POKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would only be manly-er if there were a few pounds of raw meat in the picture.

  14. August 9, 2005 at 3:05 pm

    I think all the table needs now is a big statue of a penis sitting next to the poker chips.

  15. August 9, 2005 at 3:52 pm

    A penis, meat, and a WOLF or something. And a BIG SHINY CAR. And… And……and a PIRATE! Ahoy!!

  16. Rik
    August 9, 2005 at 5:49 pm

    Huh? No, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong. There should be a bottle opener screwed to the side of the chest; the wine rack should be replaced with a mini fridge full of generic domestic beer and Grey Goose in the freezer part; two nudie mags under the dager and a couple of shotgun shells strategically placed to make ’em look like they were just “thrown on there after a huntin’ trip.” And a half eaten BLT.

  17. August 10, 2005 at 7:58 am


  18. August 10, 2005 at 8:02 am

    Uh Rik? Did you just describe your kitchen??

  19. August 10, 2005 at 8:48 am

    Rik that was very specific. I would like to petition, however, that Incredipeter ALSO be in the picture, carving a huge bar of Irish Spring with a big knife.

  20. August 10, 2005 at 9:02 am

    In overalls…

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