Today I realized that the entire medical community is made up of imbeciles and frauds. What I wouldn’t give to find one frickin doctor that had one single molecule of knowledge. I am better off self-diagnosing, because even with their uber-schooling, they are still morons. Seriously, I have been to some crappy doctors in my life, and they have diagnosed me with little more than five seconds with the stethascope. You can’t possibly know that I have mesothelioma (I don’t, BTW) from listening to me breath. Could you please get a clue?
Abby had a tapeworm, and it was obvious. There were nasty 1 inch long tapeworm segments EVERYWHERE. She left a trail of them wherever she went. I collected a “fecal sample” for the vet… INCLUDING ACTUAL LIVE TAPEWORMS.
I dropped it off about 12:30, and they told me they’d call with results at 1:00. Well, they didn’t, so I called them. They hadn’t finished yet. So I kept calling, and they kept telling me they’d have the results in 15 minutes. Finally I gave up and took Abby to the vet’s office at 5:00. They said… “What can we do for you?”
Keep in mind that I had just dropped the sample off over my lunch break, and they were the same girls that took my information. In addition, they had spoken with me on the phone 30 times. Am I that forgettable? I must be. So they went back and told the doctor I was there. She was like… “Oh, we were just getting ready to run her sample. If you want to wait, that’s fine.” At this point, I’ve waited for 5 hours, 15 minutes at a time, so I wasn’t leaving without a pill for my puppy. After a while, she came back, and said (I kid you not) “The test came back negative.”
Came back negative? For what!? Did you test her for tapeworms, or did you test for monkeypox? I know she doesn’t have monkeypox. She has a frickin tapeworm. I can see it. You could see it too if you looked into the sample container. It’s crawling around in there looking for a new host. If you want, we can go outside and Abby will gladly produce a new sample for you. Tards.
At this point, I’m extremely perturbed, and I just said “SHE’S NOT NEGATIVE, THE FRICKING TAPEWORMS ARE CRAWLING AROUND IN THE SAMPLE CONTAINER I BROUGHT YOU!!!” She looked at me like I was insane. I said “GO GET THE SAMPLE!” She went and got it, and when she came back in, she said “Hey! There are tapeworms in there…”
So then she went and got a pill, and we went on our way. It took her 5 and a half hours to MISdiagnose the dog, and I had already diagnosed her properly. Keep in mind, she is a DOCTOR of VETERINARY MEDICINE. I, on the other hand, have never owned a puppy before, and don’t know SQUAT about them. Why can I type “Dog Worms” into Google, and come up with a better diagnosis than someone with what I’m sure is a hefty medical resume’?
It doesn’t seem right.
That’s enough of a rant for now.