Have you ever had something disturbing, weird, creepy, and/or unpleasant in your life that you just can’t escape? Do you get daily reminders of it from all around you, including from random strangers?
Because of the nature of the topic, I can’t really explain. Sorry. But the summary is, there’s something unhappy from my life that seems to have followed me around most of my life. I have it thrown in my face nearly every day, and I don’t like it. Today it was thrown in my face by an unsuspecting stranger. He didn’t even know he was doing it, and since he’s an important business connection, I had to pretend.
First, I had to pretend like I wasn’t shocked. Then I had to pretend like the lie he was repeating was actually true (in the interest of not screwing up the business contact). Then after he left, I found myself just sitting here shaking my head.
It’s one thing to have something disturbing from your life that you have no control over. It’s entirely another thing to have to be reminded of it constantly. Granted, I don’t “have to” be exposed to the situation. But by that I mean, I could become a monk and move to Tibet, then I’d no longer have to be exposed to it.
It’s the elephant in the room. My family rarely discusses it, because for some of us it’s disturbing and unpleasant, and for others it’s heart wrenching. We ignore it because it’s not fixable and it’s not worth getting worked up over… because it’s not fixable.
There’s an old concept called path dependency. It’s the explanation of why organizations start an Oracle implementation that’s supposed to be 2 million dollars and 2 years, but ends up being 20 million dollars and 10 years (then still doesn’t work right). Oracle was supposed to be the happy solution to all of our problems. It was supposed to replace the bad systems we had in place before that.
But sometimes, it’s worse than the alternatives.
To my regular readers, I apologize for the cryptic nature of this post. It has to be because of the topic. I’m not censoring my thoughts – my thoughts just might not make sense to you this time. To first time readers, please go back one post to get a flavor for what my writing is like when I’m not bitching. 🙂