Ok, on to today’s entry, on a topic far less contraversial than yesterday’s.
I’d like to talk about dating. You see, I didn’t date when I was in high school, so I didn’t have the experience during those formative years when most people discover how to play the game. No, I left high school with a profound lack of understanding about what I was expected to do on a date.
First of all, you have to know if you’re on a “date” or if you’re just “hanging out with a friend.” You’d think this would be obvious, but it isn’t. There have been times when I thought I was out with a friend, and she thought it was a date, and vice versa. Apparently it’s a very fine line, and the key is to establish it from the beginning. It’s important to use the word “date” if you want to go on a date. If you just say “hey, do you want to go out for dinner and a movie Saturday night” she might know you are asking for a date, but will allow you to pay and then play dumb.
OR, the reverse is true. I’ve asked girls to go to a movie that I had NO interest in dating, but believe it or not, was just bored and needed something to do. It’s difficult to explain that to a girl when she thinks you are her new boyfriend.
But say now that you’re on a date, and you both know it, and you’re both happy about the idea. What now? This is where I freeze up. I seem to be wired backwards, where if the girl expects something, I think she hates me and don’t do anything, but those times I think she wants me to do something, I’m wrong and she thinks I’m a jerk.
So I have generally been pretty passive when it comes to such matters, and pretty much wait to see what she will do. The bad part of this is that on at least a couple of occasions, the girl finally gave up and assumed I hated her. But since I’ve been burned the other way too, I’m conflicted about what to do.
Another interesting phenomenon is what I like to call the “Angie” effect, for reasons I will leave to your imagination. This is where a girl is interested in me, and I’m not interested in her, and the meaner I am to her and less attention I pay to her, the more wildly in love with me she becomes, to the point of psychotic stalker-like behavior. And of course on the flip side, I have dated girls that were very demanding, but every time I did what she demanded, she liked me less. I guess I was too easy.
That makes no sense to me. Am I to believe that what every woman wants is to be ignored, told no, and demeaned? It sure seems that way. It’s not logical, but I guess that’s not a requirement.
But the times the girl did make the first move didn’t turn out all that well, either. (More on that some other time) The kind of girl who does that is not the kind of girl I’m looking for. And no, I don’t really know what I AM looking for. It’s more of a journey than a destination.
I will leave you with this thought from Oscar Wilde. “Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.”