Dating Matrix – Part Deux

Yes, the Dating Classification Matrix has made it through another iteration. You should download and fill it out, because it’s far more accurate than the Beta I released last week. I’ve incorporated some very helpful feedback from my loyal readers.

Please keep in mind that dating relationships should not be based solely on this matrix… it is only to be used as a general guide.* You should fill out all information objectively and accurately to insure the integrity of the test results.

This assessment has already been tested for internal validity and reliability. This project will be ongoing, so please submit your feedback** to Your comments are also welcome.***

Click Here to Download the Spreadsheet

You’ll note that various items are weighted more strongly than others. For example, “Number of Sexual Partners” is given more weight than, say “Political Affiliation” because it’s likely to have a more significant emotional impact on the relationship.

Most of the criteria are scored based on national averages. A perfect score is a “6” in any given category. The national average of sexual partners in the United States is 10.7**** so if you have more than 10.7 partners, your score will begin to decline. Because of my suspicion that the median number of partners is less than the average number (some of you have slept with a LOT of people*****), the weighting on this category gives high scores for lower numbers. Very scientific, baby!

Admittedly, there is a slight “Right-Leaning,” however you will note that the “Race” category is scored evenly among non-British and non-Canadian responders. You will also note that if your income is in excess of half a million dollars per year, all other ratings become irrelevant, just as it happens in the real world.

You will also note that classifications such as “Education” and “Sociability” are given equal weight. The theory behind the numbers is that someone who is highly educated but not sociable will likely be no less successful than someone with less education who is highly sociable.

I’m sure you’ll find the scoring system highly complex and quite scientific (in a comical way).

As always, your results will remain confidential unless you choose to publicly reveal them.


* If you honestly think this spreadsheet should be used for anything but a laugh, you’re a complete moron and should consider voluntary surgical sterilization.
** Again, I’d love feedback, but if you send me hate mail about it, I’ll assume you think I’m serious, and therefore you’re an idiot.
*** Unless you work at my prior employer, whose comments I’ve permanently banned because of all the crackheads there.
**** Durex Global Sex Survey, 2005 – Granted, some of you out there are completely busting the bell curve on this category… I’m sure the median score is MUCH less than 10.7 partners.
***** The spreadsheet only supports up to 200 sexual partners. Incidentally, this category allows you to have a negative score. In fact, it is not mathematically possible for you to get a positive score (above 0) overall if you have had more than 109 partners. You cannot achieve a perfect score unless you have at least one partner, under the theory that no one is really dateable until after they’ve already been married for awhile.

  7 comments for “Dating Matrix – Part Deux

  1. November 21, 2006 at 1:29 pm

    Just so you know, it’s not a completely biased test. If it were, I would have made it so I was a 6. In reality, I’m merely a 4.73… see how objective it is! (If I’d just gone to the dentist, I could have broken 5.00 – Dangit!)

  2. Rik
    November 21, 2006 at 1:49 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha hah aha a h
    Race = British ah aha h ha hh ah ha ha ha ha ha

  3. November 21, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    My score went down the toilet when I put in my number of sexual partners. You may want to amend that part especially if the STD score is zero.


  4. November 21, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    Well, all you need to do is start making more than $500,000 a year, and all your sordid history will become irrelevant. At least, in this spreadsheet.

  5. November 22, 2006 at 8:52 am

    Ah Incredipetey, a man to my own heart.

  6. Wen
    November 22, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha!

    I noticed that my datability score improved when I became a Republican. Since I am now a Republican I felt compelled to use the GOP model for data obfuscation polishing. My datability score is “Hubba Hubba’. It’s so awesome. Really! I feel like I’m Ann Coulter and I just got named Prom Queen!

    Thanks Incredipete!

    (off the record- you will find the number of sexual partners and doctor visits in the same place they hid the Iraqi WMD. Just saying.)

  7. November 22, 2006 at 3:44 pm


    I was questioned about my “Number of Sexual Partners” response because it included a decimal.

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