As you may have read before, I have a theory about the longevity of relationships. Relationships can only be successful if both parties have “settled” for someone roughly equivalent in “value” if you will. For the record, I’m not talking about your eternal soul.
When I say “value” I really mean the “desirability characteristics” that each person (hopefully) posses. Each person has a mixture of these characteristics, and the mixes vary greatly. We’re usually confused by how some relationships seem to work long-term. We expect them to fail because the two people seem like they couldn’t be more different.
The fact is, it’s irrelevant WHAT desirability characteristics each party has, so long as both parties have roughly the same amount of them.
Sounds simple? It is.
It’s even more simple than that… perceived equality is all that is necessary for a relationship to work. If either party feels better or worse than the other person, the relationship will fail. If you think you’re better than your partner, you’ll look for an upgrade. If you think you’re worse, you’ll subconsciously sabotage the relationship and your partner will look for an upgrade.
My Dating Classification Matrix is much more accurate in predicting long-term relationship success than any other method I’ve seen. That’s because it’s a self-assessment. In a sense, it almost creates a placebo effect. Ideally this is a tool you will use with your partner, but it’s ok to fill out both your own and your partner’s profile. You start by rating yourself on a variety of subjective characteristics. After that, you rate yourself on some objective criteria. This gives you a score.
Once you and your partner (again, you can fill out both yourself) have completed the matrix (one on each tab of the spreadsheet), you can click on the RESULTS tab to see what you can expect for your relationship.
You’ll be pleased to know, this is an equal opportunity matrix. It works for gay couples or straight couples equally well.
Download the spreadsheet here: Dating Classification Matrix – Version 4