As many of you already know, I developed a painful ganglion cyst on the back of my right wrist. It was deep, intertwined with the tendons to my first two fingers which made it painful to type, mouse, play bass, etc.
The first doc I saw was Jenna’s boss, who is a chiropractor. He suggested seeing an MD to have it aspirated. I went to my MD early last week and he referred me to a wrist specialist. This orthopedist promptly shoved a needle in and sucked out the gunk. It felt better for about 8 hours until the cyst came back.
I was irritated that the aspiration only lasted 8 hours, but what’s a guy to do? I made another appointment with the specialist for yesterday.
This time, rather than aspirating it, he decided to rupture it. Most of you have heard the old-fashioned treatment for this malady – smashing a book on it. Well, we’ve advanced beyond that.
This particular doctor had a special vice-like device that he acquired during the inquisition (during which he was already practicing – he’s old). He stuck my wrist in the contraption and started squeezing it down.
Now, I like to think I’m not a giant wussbag, but this definitely hurt. As he was crushing it, I’d say it was about a 9 on the pain scale. I didn’t make any noise – that would have been girly. I had involuntary tears coming down my face, but I was gritting my teeth and taking it like a man.
Then I felt the cyst rupture. That nine on the pain scale jumped up to @#$@$!!#@$!. I had a momentary bout of Turette’s syndrome, and I blurted out “YOU @!#HOLE!”. As soon as it ruptured, the doctor took off without saying a word. He’s probably the most pompous, unfriendly doctor I’ve ever met.
The tech told me to massage the area FIRMLY to keep the cyst from refilling. So I dutifully rubbed it for the next 3 hours until my other hand wore out.
Well, I figured it was just my tendon snapping across the bone, so I ignored it.
This morning, however, my wrist was swollen and red, and I couldn’t bend it. So I went back to the inquisition doctor and they did another x-ray.
Oops. They chipped the bone.
THEY FRICKING CHIPPED THE BONE ON MY WRIST, WITHOUT ANESTHETIC! No wonder I called him an @#$hole!
I felt vindicated that I was not really as big a wuss as I thought the day before. Anyone would yelp if someone crushed and broke their bone while they watched.
Anyhow, the doctor seemed much more interested in my case today, much friendlier, and more conciliatory. He offered all of my followup treatment for free (thanks but no thanks) because he could smell his malpractice insurance premiums going up. He told me to splint the wrist for 6 weeks and it would heal just fine.
My MD has referred me to another orthopedist so I can get a second opinion this afternoon.
Whatever else I know, I know for sure that I will not be paying one cent for treatment on this.